I'm Normally Perfect (re-upload)

Chapter Forty-Four

The following morning after breakfast Alex and I drove my family into Oxford and booked them into their rooms at the Winslow, a monstrosity of a hotel across the street from Christ Church. A part of me was grateful I wouldn't be under the same roof with them any more, but another part felt a bit guilty, especially over Noni. When we arrived outside the hotel Mother looked up at it and announced, 'It looks like Dracula's castle,' in an awed tone.

I took in the Gothic architecture, 'Yes, it does. Isn't it pretty?'

Mother sneered, 'No.'

Alex hauled their bags out of the boot and a porter helped load them on a trolley. We walked into the massive lobby together and Alex said,

'It was...interesting meeting all of you. I feel I've learned loads more about Catherine than I should have done if we hadn't met.'

Mother narrowed her eyes as though she wasn't certain if that was a compliment or an insult (to tell you the truth I couldn't tell, either) and said, 'Likewise.'

Noni gave a tight smile, 'Yes, thank you for letting us stay in your beautiful home.'

Alex nodded her head once, 'Not at all, Lila, I'm glad we've finally had the opportunity to meet.'

'So am I,' the tone in her voice sounded more like she'd learned valuable, but disturbing information than enjoyed herself.

Alex gave Noni a flicker of a smile and then turned to me, 'I must be off now, Catherine, you'll be staying here?'

'Just for a bit. I'll see you later.'

'All right...' I could tell she wanted to hug me goodbye, but she opted to pat me on the arm. I noticed Noni noticing.

Alex left us and I followed Noni to her room. She was feeling quite tired and sat on her bed, pale.

After the porter left us she asked, 'Have you thought about what I said last night?' I nodded. 'And are you going to move out?'

She looked so weak and exhausted I didn't want to upset her, but I couldn't lie. 'You know, Noni...I don't think there's anything wrong with us. Alex and me, I mean, so I'm going to stay there for a while...'

I pretended to be fascinated by the view out of the window, unable to look her in the eye when I said it.

She sighed, 'Catherine. I know how you feel about her...'

I turned to her and cut in, 'No, you don't, but that's all right because it's impossible for anyone to understand how any other person feels anyway...'

She cut in, 'I don't want you to be vulnerable...'

'To what? Someone who loves me?'

'She gives you things...'

'Yeah, on birthdays and Christmas, just like everyone else.' I had almost said, "anniversaries", but managed to stop myself just in time.

Her voice was calm and rational, 'She gives you expensive things and I don't want you to be blinded by that.'

'You think I would stay with someone who was mean to me if they gave me expensive stuff? No, if that were true I'd love Mother to death and I can't bloody stand her. She was always giving me expensive gifts rather than simply being nice to me. If anything, I used to be quite wary of Alex's generosity because I think of money as a weapon.' It felt strange admitting this to someone when I'd always felt it was something shameful that was to be kept secret at all costs.

Noni's eyes were wide, 'Do you think I use money as a weapon?'

'No, it's just that...I've always had to rely on you or Mother or someone else to pay my way and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling guilty over it.'