Lost (Rewrite)

Chapter 5- Gym

Recap...

I manage to get the strength to get into the shower after crying for a while. I wash away the blood and try to scratch away their marks. I scratch my skin until it starts bleeding and then I pass out from the pain in my area.

Flashback over

Ariana:

I wake up at 4:00 the next morning thanks to my alarm and do my routine. I decided to where jeans and a cute sweatshirt.

(Her outfit)

Once I'm done I head downstairs and start breakfast. It's 4:20 so I will be able to get everything done in time and be out the door before they get up. I put everything on plates and set the table before grabbing my backpack and leaving. I hope their food gets cold.

I make it to school and the day just drags by. Nothing interesting even happened. It's so boring that I decide to just skip when lunchtime comes around. The school doesn't necessarily care considering I have the highest GPA in the school. They'd stop me if they saw me though so I still have to be sneaky.

I know I need to get into the gym to relieve stress so I text Michael.

Ariana- Can you meet me at a normal gym today?

Michael- Why?

I highly doubt I can tell him. I trust him with my life but that's part of the problem. He'd defend me and try to get me out of this situation. I don't want him to get hurt. He's already tried helping me before and it did nothing for me.

Ariana- I have my reasons. We can't use underground gyms anymore.

Michael- Ok, you'd tell me if it was something serious right?

Ariana- Yes.

Michael- Ok let's meet here *Address*

That's only a few minutes walk from here.

Ariana- Can you meet in 10 minutes?

Michael- I'll be there in 15, just wait there

Ariana- Ok, thank you

I put my phone back in my pocket and start walking to the gym. Sour puss is following me again. He's trying to hide but I easily pick him out. I don't even think there's any point to hide. Like I know it's happening already. I didn't exactly have a choice but I'm aware my life is under more control than before.

Before I know it I'm at the front of the gym. I swear I was walking for only a minute. Either way, I walk in and I'm allowed to go into a private area. It has all the normal equipment a gym might have including a boxing ring. I'm more focused on the punching bags so I go to a cabinet and get my hands wrapped before going over the bigger of the two bags.

First I pretend the bag is Jacob. Punching him continuously in the face. Punching his stomach until he's sick. Kicking him in the balls. I love to imagine this scenario. I don't know what it'll take for me to finally snap and do it. I feel a weird amount of numbness when I'm with my adoptive "family". Nothing they do is really shocking or hurts much anymore. Not enough to lose control.

A lot of people would probably wonder why I haven't just killed them. It's definitely what they deserve. The answer is simple though. I just need them alive. I'm still just 17. If they were to die my social worker would come around. She would put me in an orphanage or some other home. I wouldn't be in the same school. Not that I have any friends but I would like to graduate there. I've been taught there for about a year now and the semester is almost over.

We move every year but at least I'm allowed to finish each school year in one school. It'll be over in 2 months. I turn 18 in 3 months. So I just have to wait and then possibly run away and hide after school. Or just stick around until I'm officially 18 to run away and leave. It shouldn't be that hard no matter the option I choose. I've dealt with them my entire life, I can do it for 3 more months.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I spin around kicking the person in the stomach. They fall to the ground and I realize my mistake. "You're getting stronger," Michael says. I help him up and once he's standing I ask "Why did you do that?" "You were so in the zone you didn't realize that your wraps tore and I had to stop you. You wouldn't even listen to my yells," he explained. Oh.

"How long have you been here?" I ask. "About 30 minutes, I came in and you were using the bag so I watched your form. About 3 minutes ago I realized your knuckles were bloody so I decided to step in," he says. "How much time do you have?" I ask. I was hoping to spar today. "2 more hours, let's get you fixed up before we do anything else. I agree and he takes me over to a bench and starts cleaning my hands.

"So what has you so upset?" He asks. I sigh and say "Jacob, again." He looks up briefly before focusing on my hands again. "You know. I could call the cops, you don't have to live like that," he says. "I know but what's the point? I can stick it out for 2 or 3 months. If the cops are called and I can't live with them any more there would be a whole set of things that have to happen. They'd go to court so I'd have to give a statement and probably testify to even make it worth calling the cops. I'll have to spend time in foster care somewhere else and I'd have to leave school. I just want to finish school and then disappear," I explain. "It's wrong that you have to live like that," he says. I know. 

Once he finishes bandaging me I'm given more padding on my hands. I didn't want it but that was the only way I'm going to be able to spar with him so I accepted it. We warm up for a while before actually getting in the ring. "Give me all you got," Michael says. He knows I'm stronger so he has padding today. I go into action not long after. Blocking and kicking. I prefer to kick but every now and then I'll throw a punch. It makes my pattern less predictable. I have no specific order. I just do what feels right. 

We do 5 rounds before Michael has to leave. I go to the showers once he's out the door and let the water relax my body. It feels good to relieve stress like this. Spar and then a nice hot shower. I get out an hour later and leave the gym after getting dressed. It's 2:45 so I should start walking home soon.