... How it all started...

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       He was my dad's childhood friend. Best friends from diapers as my dad always called him. It was their inside joke that not everyone understood. Cute one if you ignore the fact that they become friends in their 20s. My dad said that from the moment they met, he knew that they would be partners in all crimes until the very end. Pretty much always together, focusing on their careers and business until my mom came into the picture, and soon after everything went down... I will always remember how my dad admitted that she ruined a lot of things for him. Of course, he tried to save the situation saying that he would never regret having me but only if I didn't do anything stupid. Like quitting school or becoming pregnant at a young age or both.             

   My grandparents were awesome and I loved them but they would never miss a chance to remind me that I was a surprise and how my mom lost her sanity thanks to me. But it wasn't my fault that she didn't knew how to take care of her child and keep her family together. So I wasn't sad that I didn't remember her very well. Even if I looked at pictures she was barely around us. It was my grandparents, my dad, and his best friend. And he wasn't shy about showing that he didn't like my mom, how she was like poison to him. And I knew that he moved to a different city just because of her. He still worked with my dad just from a different place and I usually saw him on my dad's birthdays. Those were two maybe three days everyone could pretend that life was fine. So when my mom left he moved back to the city the same day. Leaving everything behind and turning his relationship into a long distance. I actually prayed for it to end, that relationship never looked good in my eyes. It was like they were together because they had to. I saw her a few times and she looked like she hated every living soul around her, especially me. I was like a cockroach she saw in her kitchen and was really to kill it but didn't have the guts to do it, so I was left alive...

    And then one day tragedy struck - he broke up with that crazy girlfriend. She was out of everyone's lives and I couldn't be happier. It was God's gift to me for being a good person or something like that. My dad was really surprised when he found out that after being together for half of their lives they broke up. And I was already imagining my dream wedding and creating the perfect little family with him in my head. I had church on him for as long as I can remember. At first as a person who would let me do anything I wanted as a kid and wouldn't get annoyed by it. Even if I painted his nails or put stickers on him. So there wasn't any surprise that later I started to see him more like a man. The man I wanted to kiss and to date.  He was my prince charming with a pretty smile.

     He is drinking because of the breakup - this was my dad's theory

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     He is drinking because of the breakup - this was my dad's theory. Like who wouldn't but I had a feeling that there had to be something more. He was drinking mostly alone, sometimes with some friends and even with my dad. Sober moments were rare and short, so my dad forced him to move in with us until he got his shit together. They were losing their good name in business and that needed fast fixing. He would never really drink around me, so my dad used this but regret came soon after we started to hang out more thn usual doing simple things. We were cooking or shopping together but that was way too much for my dad. He wasn't happy about me spending time so much time with him. I almost got a babysitter after one evening and we didn't do anything, literally nothing. We simply talked about some school projects and I called one of my teachers stupid and old. He laughed and called me a good girl but my dad saw red at this scene and I had to spend all evening listening to him talk about life. How I can't wear comfortable clothes at home because they might show too much and give the wrong idea. How I was too childish for my age and of course that I need to be more careful around mens, especially around older ones. How they can be dangerous or drug and use me or even kill me. Was he seriously thinking like that about his best friend or was there something I didn't know? Even if I was told to stay away from him I didn't. It wasn't my childish excuses it was the real thing. How could you stay away from someone who lives in the same house? I would see him before and after school, on weekends too. There were days when he would pick me up after my classes making all girls from my school droll while looking at him. Even a few of my teachers had their mouths open when we left one day. So how do you stay away from the person who is always around? I simply waited for him to say that I needed to stop daydreaming about him but that day never came...

    One friday they went out after some good deal to celebrate. Later that night they got back drunk and with some cheap-looking woman. I couldn't control any of them and my dad could still ground me without any good reason. But seeing a man that I truly liked with some woman who couldn't keep her hand to herself hurt as hell. My dad excused us and dragged me upstairs, so those two could have some privacy. I knew what they going to do I wasn't a kid anymore and I just wanted to scream or cry because I always had to plan if I wanted my friends to come over and some cheap bar slut for one night's fun was okay. I was more thn jealous that she could touch him and I couldn't be in the same room alone with him for a few minutes. You could smell my jealousy in the air and I knew I wouldn't be able to get any sleep tonight ...

    My dad fell asleep after a few minutes, I was able to hear his bear snores coming out from his room as I tried to focus on what was left of my homework. But all I could think about was them and what they might be doing downstairs. Maybe she was kissing him, touching him or worse... Some time passed and I heard our front doors open. From the sounds that girl stormed out of the house like the devil himself was chasing her. Without thinking I left my room to lock the doors and of course to investigate this situation. I had my doubts about going downstairs, it was a big mistake. Going to the home office, where his room was for now because my dad tried to keep him as far as he could from me, was my second mistake. But what happened later I would never call a mistake.

    I heard him cursing and he sounded much more sober than before. As I tried to leave before I got caught he turned around. I simply turned into a statue and started to pray that maybe somehow he didn't notice me. He looked even more hotter thn he usually does.  I woke from my frozen state of a powerful smell of alcohol. How much did he drink? And when I tried to apologize he forced me to look into his eyes.

-I felt for you ages ago.... - He said or maybe whispered before kissing me...


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