The After Effects Of White Roses and Spider Lilies

Chapter 11: April 21st

Sunday, April 21st

That was the last diary entry. He died on his birthday in Benji's arms. Benji thinks it was a suicide but it wasn't, not entirely. He wasn't ready to go. He didn't want to go anymore. It's been months and I still haven't looked at Noah's diary since his last entry. There were more pages but I'm scared to look. He was dying and he was scared. Did he write goodbye to us? He would always joke and say he'd write a suicide note just to blame everything on his mom but what if he wrote notes for everyone instead of blaming his mother once he realized he was actually dying and he wouldn't live.

Me:
Hey Zeph, I got a journal from Noah's mom on his birthday. And I read it, I was told to read it but now ive made it to the end only its not the end because there are pages still written on in the back and im scared to read them. Im scared its goodbye letters to the group and i don't know what to do. I dont want to read them.

Mushroom Fae: I think you have to. what if he wanted others to read it, to get closure? i know youre scared but you have to, let him say goodbye.

Me:
when did you get so wise?

Mushroom Fae: Learned a lot from Noah

Me:
yea, thanks for the help Zephyr

Mushroom Fae: anytime Avery

I take a deep breath and open Noah's diary. I flip through the pages, careful not to look at them again. I made it to his last entry. "I'm sorry Noah."

Dear Avery,

I'm sorry for the mess. I'm currently dying. Which is fun. I always wondered how it would feel to die and I guess I'm gonna find out.

Hopefully when you get this it'll be three years. Did Benji move on? Or did he wallow in sorrow since I've been gone. Knowing him, he listened to my request and stayed alive. Eh it doesn't matter, I'll ask him in his letter.

Anyways, how have you been? Did you break up with those losers? Tyler and what's his face? I hope so. You deserve better. Oh! How is Cilan? Are y'all still in contact? Or have you been too busy? That's fine too I guess. He would be a great replacement for a best friend since I'm gone. Anyways there isn't really much for me to say to you. I still have other letters to write. But check your email on June 5th, it has the password to my Wattpad. Go to my last story, the demon one and tell everyone it's been discontinued. Though they probably guessed as much after a three year disappearance huh. And then I need you to get the letters for Hailey and Finn and give them to them. I already wrote up an email for Zephyr that'll arrive about a week from now I guess. It's just a goodbye to him. And lastly, give this journal to Benji. Please.Make sure he reads it.

Now, don't go following me, I'll be watching so if you join me soon I'll kill you again. Bye loser <3

Noah