Amaya Lydia Jenkins is a young teenager that faces difficulties with mental health,due to childhood trauma.Exacerabated by the death of her mother caused by her father,Cole Bardot.Amaya is a teenager that lives in a blank world .
Her life is a mara...
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Mother.
Something that almost a variety of people in this world have,that I don't.Many lost their's through accidents or sickness,however by all means losing a parent is one of the hardest things any human has to face on earth.
I lost my mother at the age of five.I'm eighteen,and I'm still traumatized.My childhood was something that any child should not go through.I had family issues,but if there is anything that hurts me the most is that my father was the killer of my mother .
He killed her right before my eyes .My mother was a gift from God.My moonlight something that always used to lit in the dark just for me.She always used to put me first in every decision she made;I was her first priority. There was nothing more important to her than me to her.
I will never forget how her beautiful onyx ,curly hair made her gorgeous face stand out.She had beautiful brown lenses.When she stood in the sun it looked like a flattering pot of honey with a touch of golden rays.
Life has been shit ever since the day she got taken away from me.I cannot sleep.I hate myself,sometimes I wish I died instead of her.When people look at you.They first take advantage of all the weakness you have and use it against you,and when I mean people. I'm talking about my stepmother Carole and stepsister Raven.
The only person who treats me like a human is Charnelle,my younger sister,whom I only share a father with.We have always shared a beautiful bond,but that didn't stop me from having depression,however Im still grateful for having her.
I don't have any friends.I'm socially awkward,because of all the trauma I bare.Drugs are like my friends to me . Self harm is where I find comfort.I find comfort in my own pain.
I wish to be like the others.I wish to be normal.Anxiety is one of the worst things I go through. It's like a daily thing I go through everyday,nobody notices that they are going to lose a stepsister or stepchild.I would have said friend ,but I don't have a friend that I could call my own or even cry a shoulder on .
Life without a mother is tough.I even sleep in the basement,that's my bedroom.Not all stepmothers are evil.I honestly don't know how I can describe Carole's feelings towards me ,but one word can only explain it all 'hate'.
She has never 'loved' me. I'm not asking for much,but I'm human too.I blame my father for all the pain,I go through everyday.I will forever be alone .
All the thinking makes me feel frustrated and I pull the strands of my hair out of frustration and anger leading me to form a pool of tears in my eyes.
I feel my blood boil and my hands start to shake from anxiety.I rub my shoulders up and down trying to comfort myself but nothing works.I rush to the toilet,take a blade and begin to slit my wrists.
My breathing gets heavier as I shake.I try to catch my breath,by opening the windows to get fresh air in the room. I take a sit on the floor and hug my knees.It's 4:00am and I still haven't slept yet. I didn't eat last night;because I was given chores from Carole and I still need to accomplish them.
