My Lifeline

6

The corridors are long, narrow and empty by the time I get up from my slumped position and rush to my locker to retrieve my Economics textbook. My feet hurry across the floor and try their hardest to get me to class on time, but it's useless. I'm already a few minutes late because I was too anxious to get lost in a sea of people who would've barged me into walls and lockers.

I turn the corner and hesitate when I see Will, Ryan, Beck, and Brains...or Wilson as I now know him as. They all turn their heads and stare at me like hawks as I keep my head down and avoid eye contact. My locker is just down the hall from theirs, only ten away.

Fuck. Forgot they're always late to class. It's like their signature move.

I grab my textbook from my locker and slam the door before I tread back up the corridor. I hold my breath when I pass the group of boys who I hope will treat me like I'm invisible.

My heart sinks when Will sticks out his foot and stops my way of passage. I clench my jaw, feeling angry at him for doing that. I don't want to be spoken to, especially in front of his friends. It'll only embarrass me.

"Whatcha listening to?" he asks me.

I crease my forehead.

He stops me for that? Seriously?

"Music," I reply bluntly. I glance around to his other friends who are watching our awkward interaction. They simply stare at me with curious eyes like I'm a new girl on her first day of sixth form. None of them seem to judge me in the slightest, which I'm grateful for.

I don't know if this makes me weak...I guess it does, but I'm a very fragile person. I hate to admit it, but it's the truth. Every little thing gets me down. Slight changes in voice and expressions makes my heart drop and sends me into a low mood which I struggle to get myself out of. Being laughed at or hearing people whisper around me makes my skin crawl and sets off a panic in my body.

Will grabs my headphones and slides them off my head. I'm far too tired to even try to attempt getting them back. I stand there and watch helplessly as he places them over his own head and listens to the music.

I should probably be embarrassed, but I truly just do not care. I feel numb again. I'm weird like that. One moment I'll feel the strongest sensations of sadness rise in my body, and then I'll suddenly feel numb out of the blue. Sometimes I'll feel on top of the world where I just want to run and scream and sing at the top of my lungs. That feeling is rare, though.

"I like it. What's it called?" he asks.

My skin betrays me by blushing. "Chamber Of Reflection, by Mac DeMarco," I mumble.

He nods his head and smiles before he props the headphones over my ears again and then leans against his locker, acting like I no longer exist in his eyes.

I awkwardly glance to his friends who are all so silent and unbothered, it actually makes me feel uncomfortable. I clear my throat and fiddle with my bag straps before I return my journey down the hall and turn the corner, removing myself from their sights.

"Who was that?" I hear Ryan ask Will.

I shouldn't do this, but I do it anyway because I'm a terrible, nosey person. I still myself and hold my breath to listen into their conversation, waiting to hear what they would say about me...not that I care.

"River Emerson. She's in our math class," Will informs him in the most unenthusiastic voice I think I've ever heard.

"Ah, right. Thought I recognised her."

"Is she new?" Beck joins in.

I roll my eyes and sigh.

"Nah, she's been here for years."