My Lifeline

18

We've found ourselves sitting on the edge of the cliff that overlooks the quarry again. We've decided to do our studying here instead of doing it at my house. It's more open and freeing.

The sky is grey and bright, illuminating the area around us that we couldn't see much detail of before in the dark. Wild flowers sprout out of the ground beneath us which I stroke my fingers over. They're too pretty to pick. I have too much empathy to pull it out of the ground only to leave and forget about it.

The wind is strong against my skin, feeling like little pins poking into it. I wrap my hoodie around my body and rub my hands together for warmth.

"I'm sorry...for how I acted earlier," I whisper. My lips press together as I wait for the awkward moment to pass.

"What?" He sounds almost offended.

"I'm not weird or anything...or maybe I am, I don't know. But I don't know what you thought you saw. It was a panic attack. I'm not telling you that for sympathy, I'm just telling you because I don't want you to think I was doing anything strange."

Will's silent for a moment. After a while, I think he must've left, so I turn my head to look at him. He's just staring at me, his lips slightly parted, his eyebrows creased like usual.

"What?" I asked in a hushed voice.

"Who told you you had to apologise for that?"

Realising he wasn't judging me and was only worried, I gulp and face forward, scanning the view of the town which looks dull in the daytime, unlike how it looks in the dark.

I'm not sure how to respond to him, so I shrug my shoulders instead, playing dumb.

"Tell me," he begs in a whisper. "I'll fuck them up. Trust me."

I grin at his playful behaviour and shake my head. "It's irrelevant."

Will groans and lays on his back, resting his hand behind his head. "I forgot you're a closed book."

"I forgot you're...so persistent." I sound unsure as I say it.

He chuckles. "Lay with me."

I turn my head to look over my shoulder. "Why?"

"Why not?"

I lay beside him, lifting my coat hood to protect my hair from the damp grass. I stare up at the grey sky that the sun shines through, rays of light beaming over where we lay together.

"Will?"

"River."

I pull out a pair of earphones. "Will you play me some music? We only ever listen to mine."

He smiles at my request. I immediately take note of the way his face lights up entirely. "If you insist."

Will pulls out his phone and takes the earphones from me, giving me one bud before he plugs in it.

"Don't judge," he warns me, pointing a finger.

"I would never."

Caves, by Gregory Alan Isakov.

"This is my favourite song," he whispers, his voice carrying in the wind.

Will's favourite song. I'll be sure to remember that.

His music plays as we lay on the edge and close our eyes, taking the time to relax and appreciate the moment.

I'm not thinking about anything in this moment. No worries, no low thoughts, no noise. It's silent. Finally. And it's all thanks to Will.