Reina de la Muerte

chapter ten

♕

vanessa

I feel like I've been pacing for hours.

The only lighting is from my bathroom which makes it hard to see a step in front of me. I'm scared that they'll just be worn-in nubs from my constant walking. I can't think straight, either. Not after tonight.

My attention goes to my hand, like it has since the ceremony, and I stare at the giant rock on my finger. I don't feel anything—no sadness, no rage or irritation...nothing. Most newlyweds are supposed to feel something after getting married eight hours ago but when I look at my cluttered hand, all I see is a transaction deal.

Wow. Real depressing, V.

My eyes shift over to the door that connects my room to Gabriel's. I think I've glanced at it at least fifty times in the last hour, but when you have the knowledge that your newlywed husband is sleeping in the room beside you, it's kind of hard not to. I wonder if he's just as stressed as I am, or if he's sleeping like a damn baby in there.

Still, I can't forget the look in Gabriel's eyes during the ceremony. I felt like there was a spotlight on me when I was walking down the aisle from his stare alone; I don't think he looked away from me once throughout the priest's talking.

I started freaking out when it was my turn to recite my vows. The nerves, the hundreds of eyes on me, the knowledge that I was about to be married to my arch-rival... it washed over me all at once until I felt like I was drowning. Gabriel could have ignored me—could have ignored my anxiety—but he helped calm me down instead. Same when I started having that panic attack: Gabriel didn't hesitate to stop everything he was doing to be there and comfort me.

I must admit, it is nice having someone to talk to even if it is Gabriel. We don't talk rather than tick each other off but he's a good extra body to have in bed, and knowing he's there makes it easier for

I'm already walking toward my door before my brain can comprehend it. I purse my lips when there's a quiet knock and open the door cautiously, having to take a step back to look into a pair of familiar chocolate eyes.

Gabriel looks like he hasn't been sleeping, either. His hair is messy and there are wrinkles in his sweatpants. He's not wearing a shirt, either, so it's giving me a perfect view of the light layer of sweat over his perfectly-cut abs.  I hope he doesn't see me drooling.

"It's almost one in the morning, Gabriel," I whisper as I open the door wide enough for my head. "Is something wrong?"

He doesn't say anything. He simply stares at me with wild eyes, a million thoughts swimming in them. I clear my throat and attempt to close the door on him but he stops me, opening it wide enough for his body to squeeze through. I can feel my heart starting to pick up but I don't say a word, closing the door behind me. I don't turn around. I'm scared that if I look at him, I'll become a blubbering mess.

"I can't stand you" is the first thing Gabriel says.

Okay, what the fuck. He just stepped through the damn door. I can't stop my anger from speaking up. "Well, you're a—"

"I'm not finished." I jump at how close he sounds; the deepness of his voice causes an unfamiliar feeling to grow in my stomach. "I can't stand how much you affect me. All fucking week, you are the only thing that I've been thinking about whether I want to or not." He takes a step closer and I move back with quickening breaths, staring up at him with large eyes. "The worst part is knowing that I can't do anything about it. I just—fucking damn it."