Reina de la Muerte

chapter twenty four

gabriel

We haven't said anything to each other. Since Vanessa came in, all we've done is hold each other; I can hear her thoughts nearly as loudly as mine. There are a thousand things I want to tell her—three words in particular—but my tongue feels like it swells the moment I try to push them out. Guilt is eating me alive.

She loves me. Vanessa...she's in love with me.

She said she was willing to wait. That she has patience. Still, it doesn't make me forget the way her face dropped that night, when I sat in the tub like a speechless idiot after she let it slip. It felt so natural hearing it from her, hearing the words come from her as if they've been impatiently sitting on her tongue. It doesn't make her words from this morning hurt any less.

I love you, Gabriel. You've proven that's the true feeling you can't bear.

I glance down at her. Her eyes have shut, slow, even breaths indicating her slumber. When I saw her come downstairs, her eyes, and around them, were puffy and red; bags hung under them like weights on her face. This time, there's no justification to hide behind—I made her feel like that.

How can you love the daughter of a monster?

The mere reminder of her question makes me flinch.

I know how I feel about Vanessa. To be honest, I've known for quite some time. It doesn't matter to me who her parents are or who she used to be. She is all that matters to me. I was convinced it was one-sided and Vanessa was just happy to have someone around who understood her, but when I heard those words come from her...I panicked. I fucking panicked.

There's no excuse this time. I'm simply cowardice to love. I shattered her heart in a two-day process. And still, she came back, hopeful and patient for me.

I carefully peel Vanessa off me and my heart clenches when she reaches out, still asleep, whining for my return. Knowing what I know, it's clear to me it was never just content she felt for me...my tunnel-vision had me refusing to see it. With a delicate kiss to her forehead, I unravel from the sheets and leave her to rest. When I enter the main area, Silvio and Vincenzo are in a deep conversation over one of the files.

Silvio notices me first, his eyes narrowing, but he doesn't say anything as I take a seat across from them. I need to get my mind off of the last two days and I've only ever distracted myself through work and sex. Unfortunately, my wife is sleeping—I doubt she'd be willing to do anything after today—so I need to find out everything there is to know about her mother.

Vincenzo spares me a casual glance and raises an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Give me an update on what you've found."

They glance at each other, seemingly having a wordless conversation. Vincenzo throws a sharp look at Silvio, who simply leans back in his seat and grabs his glass of bourbon, saying, "They have history with Lucía. Good history."

"That better not be where you're ending it at," I mutter.

"Both boys were raised by her alone...or trained. They were top of the class when they separated to go to different boot camps—perfect in everything—but went MIA around the same time Vanessa was brought back into the picture with the title as Reina."

That makes sense. With Vanessa now in charge of such a large cartel, there's no reason for them to remain in hiding. But it doesn't explain why one of them weren't chosen to take over, nor does it explain why she put Vanessa through all those years of trauma. It doesn't even cover why they were hidden within the U.S government, to begin with...unless it could have been for information on what she can't get her bloody hands on.