Broken

Chapter 23

Some days are harder than others and it's really up to us to figure out how we want to live those days. We could always stay behind and let those strong emotions take over us and give in to them then let them out in form of choking painful sobs or we could always take a deep breath which sometimes usually helps and go on with what we have planned for the day.

Makenna was having one of those days and it always hit her during the weekends when she didn't have anything planned out and no classes scheduled. She'd wake and lay there in bed and give herself permission to feel those feelings. Hugging her second pillow, one arm over it keeping it close to her and one leg over it.

She was numb on the outside, feeling nothing externally but on the inside, her soul burned. It hurt but hurt wasn't a good enough word to describe the piercing feeling she felt on the inside. Even though she was breathing it felt like she wasn't getting enough air into her lungs. Her jaws and throat were stiff from trying to keep those feelings from coming to the surface in form of tears through her misty eyes. She stuck her tongue at the roof of her mouth swallowing the growing lump in her throat but it wasn't doing anything to clear the lump away or clear the dryness down her throat.

She slept facing the wall, her back facing the rest of her room as she blocked out the rest of the world not just physically, but mentally. She stared at a spot on her wall but was not really seeing anything just blurred images as she got lost in her drowning feelings. She felt drained and tired even though she'd woken up not too long ago and she hadn't even done anything, not even get out of bed, to make her tired or feel drained.

Her body felt limp and there was a ringing in her ears as her insides shook and burned like lava trying to erupt out of a dormant volcano. It was lethal and she wasn't ready for it, and never will be.

Makenna's vision cleared as she forced herself out of her dark rabbit hole. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out extinguishing all her feelings in one breath. She turned in her bed and stared at the ceiling, one arm above her head and the other across her midriff, her raven hair spread across her silk pillowcase. Her hand rose and fell as her stomach did with her breathing and all of that was interrupted as Hee burst into the room.

Makenna turned her head to look at her,

"Hey, you're up!" Hee said as she walked towards her closet which was really a small space with a rod at the top where her clothes hung down a series of hangers.

Makenna sat up with her arms behind her, her weight on her elbows as she watched Hee, who was in a towel, select her clothing for the day and listened to her talk about what she and Kent had planned for the day. At that moment, Makenna couldn't have been more thankful for the fact that she didn't get to see much of Hee during the weekend. Of course, Hee always tried to get her to join them but Makenna always turned her down with the excuse of having her own thing which they always assumed was something similar to theirs, that is partying and causing chaos. That couldn't be further from the truth but Makenna wasn't going to correct them or tell them how she spent her weekend.

"Got something planned for today?" Hee asked as she applied her makeup,

"You know me." Makenna watched her and was ready to throw a smile in case she turned to look at her which she didn't do because she was focused on perfecting her eyeliner,

"Well," Hee dragged as she added final touches and dropped her makeup on her table and turned to Makenna who smiled at her, "I'll see you later."

"Have fun."

"I always do." Hee called as she shut the door on her way out, leaving Makenna alone, all by herself and feeling something that was pretty much freedom.

Makenna got out of bed and went to get ready for her day which was pretty much the same as all her other Saturdays. After getting dressed in a loose black oversized sweater and black leggings, she went to stand in front of her vanity and as she debated putting on makeup, she glanced at herself in the mirror and winced at the sight of her red roots,

"Dang!" She made a grab for her hair spray which was more hair colour than it was a hair spray.

She put her forefinger on the top after uncapping it and aimed it directly at her roots and sprayed covering her roots to match the rest of her raven hair. She sprayed other visible places and packed her hair in a rough bun on the top of her head before she decided to just apply a little dark eyeshadow blending it out with her ring finger.

Her Saturdays were spent doing the exact same thing, trying to decide if she should put some makeup on or go without. But she always ended up putting on some and she did the same thing again and again even though she ended up putting on some.

She put her shoes on and grabbed her phone and airpods on the way out. Plugging the airpods in her ears as she stepped out of her dorm, she walked heading towards the library where she was meeting up with Vanessa.

"Every Saturday, you show up without your studying materials and end up using mine." Vanessa said as they took their seats at a table,

"Oh, don't be selfish." Makenna took the seat across from Vanessa, "It doesn't suit you."

Vanessa who was already used to Makenna's foul mouth rolled her eyes,
"I can try but I never get anywhere as close as you."

Makenna smiled to herself which Vanessa saw a hint of and smiled as she took out the study materials from her bag.

"Let's get to it, then," Vanessa said.

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Hey there,

Some of you may have noticed the new cover and that's all thanks to Lazybrew  for the effort she put into creating this perfect cover. It's the dream I had for Broken come to life and I'm so grateful to her for taking the time out of her busy schedule to come through with this amazing cover.

Thank you!!