Still Falling

16 | commune

Amanda

*

"Amanda, dear, could you pass me those jars on the counter?"

I shuffled out of the stool I was sat on, grabbed two jars of kimchi and moved over to Nate's refrigerator where his mother was stashing several jars into the freezer.

Soo-Yun Roberts was a petite woman with pin-straight, jet black hair that didn't show any signs of aging. She had it pulled up and held in place by a red, elaborate pin I recognized from my childhood.

"Thank you," she smiled warmly at me as she her hands eased the weight off them and transferred the jars into the cubicle that oozed frost. "Nathaniel's been on my neck about making these all the way from the airport."

I grinned at her. "He loves them. Sienna's been looking up recipes."

"Maybe I could show her some tips next time I come. I can't right now because of the baby."

Soo-Yun flew in for a week-long visit and was due to leave tomorrow. This was my second dinner with all three of them and it was a breath of fresh air seeing her again. It had been so long, as she was like a second mother to me. Sienna wanted to help all the time she was here, but June wouldn't have any of it, choosing to treat her daughter-in-law like an egg— a rare one too.

Tonight it was the two of us who made dinner while Sienna played her preggy mom duties diligently and Nate was still out. Conversing with her was a lot easier than I'd anticipated. She didn't asks questions that made me queasy or too anxious.

"So," she locked eyes with me as she moved a bowl of rice to the table. "Is there a man in the picture?"

I'd spoken too soon.

I tried to distract myself from the sudden increase of my heart rate by taking in all the food we'd set on the table. Soo-Yun had moved to States at the age of five with her parents and older sister and had lived here all her life— except short visits to relatives in Korea— then proceeded to marry an American, but she held everything about her roots dear to her heart. The food, the language— she spoke Korean with Nate a lot, especially when he was younger. It was no surprise he was fairly fluent in the language.

I looked up to find her still staring, anticipating my reply, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

I pursed mine and smacked them. "Um, I do not."

Her face flashed in surprise. "Oh. I wasn't expecting that. But you did, at some certain point, am I correct?"

I stilled, puzzled. "At some certain point?"

"Now that I think about it, it was a really along time ago. The memory just popped up."

The more she spoke, the more I lost track. I'd been in two relationships all my life, and both of them were after I moved here for college. Lucas, and Finn.

"I think Nathaniel and Sienna had just began dating then. I was on a call with him and when I asked after you, he told me you were seeing someone. He said something like they made everything about you light up."

My entire body went numb when it hit me. Lucas and I were no longer in contact when Nate met Sienna. That person who made everything about me light up was Finn. The realization gutted me, and gutted me hard. I was too stunned to speak.

"Wait, the steak's still in the oven!" The words were barely out her mouth before she rushed into the kitchen. The smell of charred meat hit my nostrils and I joined her in rescuing the remains as Sienna popped into the kitchen, hands cradling belly.