Chapter 1

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Hey guys. How are you? I'm good.
Updates are going to be once every week.
There is a bit of swearing and violence in this book, so be warned I guess.
Without further ado I'm just going to dive right in.
Hope you enjoy!

John shot up out of his bed, gasping for air. The word monster echoed through his mind, as well as the faint whispers of how much a failure he is. He gripped his blue coloured blanket tightly, trying to ground himself back to reality. Taking big deep breaths to steady his breathing, he looked around, realizing that he was in his room. It was just a nightmare, nothing more nothing less.

Lifting his hand up to his face, he felt sweat dripping down his face. His clothes stuck to him like glue, and his hair was drenched in sweat. He felt uncomfortably hot, so he lifted the blanket off of himself and shimmied to the side of the bed. The frame creaked under his weight, disturbing the silence in the room. He planted his feet on the floor boards, and took some time to collect his thoughts.

He couldn't believe he did it. Again. He huffed regretfully, slacking his shoulders.
This wouldn't have happened if he was just better. Not a liar. A phony. A fake. He'll never change, why did he think he could do something?

"No. After everything we've been through together I refuse to believe it was fake!" Seraphina's previous words resonated through his mind, seeming to want to prove him wrong. Could he really trust her? Don't be ridiculous, of course he can trust her! He shook his head, closing his eyes.

After all, she was trying to help him. She really wanted to listen. And he shut her out just because he didn't want to hear those words come from her too. He gave up on her so easily, yet she didn't give up on him. He clenched his hands into fists tightly.
He didn't want to let her down, but what was he supposed to do with himself?!

____________________

"JOHN, FOOD!" Snapped him out of his thoughts. Was he up all night? Jeez, he felt exhausted.

Not wanting for Dad to worry, he shoved down those thoughts and lifted himself off his bed. His legs, neck, and back felt stiff from staying in the same position all night. Cracks could be heard the moment he got up. Scurrying over to the living room, the smell of bacon filled his nostrils instantly.

" 'Morning." He croaked, his eyes feeling so droopy.

"Jeez, you look like you got hit by a truck. Didn't sleep well?" Dad bellowed, setting a set of utensils on the table. It seems they were having eggs and bacon with toast.

"I...had a lot on my mind." Yeah, lots of things.

"Alright, we'll get some food in your system. And you can go back to sleep later." He nodded to Dads' reply. Hopefully he will.

Sitting down to his plate of toast, bacon, and eggs. He grabbed a slice of toast. He hoped that Dad wouldn't bring up the suspension, he really wasn't in the mood to talk about it.

"Hey, John."

"Hm?"

"When I got the call from Headmaster Vaughn," Dad looked up from his plate, "he said he was sending you home for disobedience and excessive violence. Wanna tell me what that's all about?" Great, just his luck. He took a bite of his toast, the crunch echoing through the room. Currently the wooden table looked more interesting than the conversation they were having.

"I'm so hopeless, aren't I? I knew this would happen. I knew that the moment I used my ability. I'd lose my head, and everything around me would crumble. But I was so angry. Nothing was going right, and I just wanted to hurt everything. So I kept attacking and attacking," he grimaced, clenching his hands into fists, "I couldn't stop myself. I-really hate this power. Nothing good ever comes out of it." Looking up, he saw something flash in his fathers eyes, was that disappointment or pity?

"John," Dad leaned in a bit forward, "I still remember the day you first discovered your ability.  Your expression, and how excited you were to tell me about it.  After that, you went out and practiced your ass off everyday.  You improved so fast, and you were so-in-tune with your ability. I could tell that you took a lot of pride in it. So seeing the way you hide from it now. I really don't get why-,"

"Isn't it obvious?! I'm just not like everyone else! I wasn't raised with the ability! It doesn't matter how strong I get, or how 'in-tune' I am with it! Because I'm just a loose cannon with no control over myself! I don't know what the hell I'm doing, dad! I'm just a  late-bloomer who's destined to fail!" The words spluttered out uncontrollably, his hands slamming into the table. Damn it, why was he so easy to anger?

"What are you going on about? Late bloomer? Destined to fail? I've never heard those words come out of your mouth before. John, I want you to be honest with me. What's going on? Is something from those re-adjustment classes making you think about all these things?" Shit.

"I-um, no?" Why was he stuttering? Cmon get it together! He took a deep breath, the silence suffocating.

"Just look at my track record. I've proven it." He answered, the excuse didn't seem to satisfy Dads' question though.

"Listen, John. Yo-," knocking interrupted. He huffed a breath of relief, contempt with the little distraction. This seemed to be a blessing in disguise, guess his luck isn't that rotten.



Oh how wrong he was.

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