My little girl

22. Peace

Liz-

what does it is so nice of the world to be filled with peace, love and happiness but unfortunately that's not always the case for some people and I don't know why I don't know why we just can't all get along and be happy and why we can't just get along It's Siri but you tell yourself each and every day that you're doing the right things, and eventually people will realize that you're doing the right thing and if they can't be like that then they got here especially so he wont calling

your cell and that they're doing a lot of bad things but in reality they're really not doing bad things you suppose you try to tell yourself to be patient and be gentle soul and then you tell yourself that you're not doing that in reality they doing a good enough job but it's scary because not everybody wants to think that way not everybody wants to have a happy, peaceful life like all .

I want life is for my husband skinflint boss to leave me and him alone and stop trying to hurt us and let us raise our children. The girls are now five cent in a melody and then there is nori. He is five to complete miracles because when I had sunshine,

I thought I was dying because I didn't know that she was in there just like with her brother Dale I didn't know he was in there either. I mean me and Chris were completely surprised and we were you know blessed to have him, but we were scared shitless because you know with sunshine and I hardly ever drink because I wasn't of I wasn't 21 didn't turn 21 I didn't drink because I don't like the taste of alcohol.

I think it's nasty and then when we finally did have our you know you tell yourself each and every day that you're blessed and that you're doing it and that you're doing such a good enough job it's just so emotional like you tell yourself each and every day you're doing it you're doing that you're doing an amazing job keep going and then you get to this point in life when you're like am I doing amazing job is it really worth it? Do you just tell yourself that you done a good enough job or is it just like you didn't do a good enough job and that you're dreaming and you're just scared shitless and or night and day all .

I finally listened up and drink a little bit and I didn't drink much but I mean I drink when he was at least four or five months along in my stomach not knowing that he was in the air and you know mom guilt it's real like I'm glass every day. I didn't do anything with my kids with anything.

Oh my God like what Ascension is in my stomach by the time JYP tried to poison me but thank God she wasn't you know it's just you ask yourself every day cause I've done something differently should I done something differently but no I couldn't have done anything more well, as Chris says, he said I did the right thing the entire time.

Chris -Liz Honey you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You really need to stop being so hard on yourself because you did every thing right you did everything right you did everything right you did everything correctly. You helped her when she needed it you did everything correctly.

Stop blaming yourself. You know surprises like this happen and it's a gift from God and I think there's a reason that you didn't drink I think it was the kid's way of telling you that they were there. They just weren't here yet and you should be so proud of yourself because you're the best mom that anybody could ever there anybody could ever have any child could dream of just like me I'm the luckiest man in the world because I get to call you my white, so I wish you would stop being so hard on yourself.

I know that you're scared. I know that you're worried that she could get some thing for him but honey if you did anything to fuck them they would be so sick right now like Sunchin

could've had asthma even though you didn't smoke we still did a lot of physical activity and you were allowed around a lot of Pyro which could cause asthma, because of course, JYP  in his Idiocracy thinking that we have to have fire while we preform i love you so much stop being so hard on yourself.