My Boyfriend's Brother

mess it up

Sebastian and Lucas had been in the office room for an hour now and i had been growing tensed every passing minute.

Chloe was a weird ass character in our stories. She has always been bugging both the brothers and everyone who tries entering their personal life. Now, who is me by the way. I don't understand how she ended up fucking around with both the brothers though. Wait. Hold up.
Clown moment.
Who am I to say that?
I was involved with both of them too-
I gasped. Oh my gosh. Oh my lord.
I AM CHLOE.

Ugh i felt like self loathing.
And punching myself in the face for being Lucas's gf but having feelings for, not anyone random, but his brother.
Why did it have to be his beother.
Oh god. I'm so in trouble.

My mind was running wild with all these random thoughts and i was feeling guilty and horrible and guilty and horrible and guilty and horrible aaaghhhhh.

I sighed. I need to take some rest and think less.

Overthinking is gonna bring us nothing.

Growing up with no parents and spending most of my life in a filthy abusive orphanage wasn't exactly what I asked for. But Lucas came into my life and he helped me get out of that hell place and was a good helping hand to me. But he was also the only person I had met when I needed someone the most. Did i need him? Yes . Back then. Did i have feelings for him? Yes. Back then. But now they seem to be fading away. It's as if we were never in love. Love never fades away.
Maybe I chose to be with him at the time when I was the most vulnerable.

And vulnerability took the best of me.
But now when I'm grown up.
I am not the old me anymore.
I have changed. And i don't know why I seem to have a control over my life and i like it.

Cheaging on lucas was so bad. But I've gone through so much that I need to think about me too. I never do.
It's wrong but I need to be selfish.
I need to think about what I want.
What I actually want.
And i guess i do know what I want.

I got up and went to the room where Sebastian and Lucas were. I knocked and entered, finding Lucas holding documents and Sebastian rubbing the back of his neck. Lucas looked at me and sighed. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to spend a minute with you since I came back from the trip. All this Chloe shit... Uh" he rubbed his forehead.
Sebastian pretended to be busy on his laptop.
Lucas walked towards me and i hesitated before he kissed me. It was so awkward.
Sebastian was fuming and i could see it all in his eyes. He felt hurt and jeakous both at the same time. God. It must be so hard on him. Lucas trailed his hands on my face and looked towards Sebastian, following my gaze.

"God get a room" Sebastian rolled his eyes and acted all cool. I couldn't do this to Sebastian. I didn't want to.
"Hey Lucas. Sebastian has something to tell you" i said looking at Sebastian as a hope to tell the truth.
Sebastian's face displayed no emotions.

"Yeah bro your assistant had been calling you all week about some important confrence". What? Why isn't he telling? I make a confused face. Signalling Sebastian to tell the truth. And he just looked back at his laptop again.

Lucas pulled my arm. "C'mon let's go. I've missed you so much" he said trailing his hands on my waist. "Ok" i said glaring towards Sebastian. "If it's gonna be this way" and I kissed Lucas while he led us to our room.

Why didn't he just tell him? He actually doesn't wanna be with me. He doesn't want me?
And he knows what's gonna happen in the room, so why isn't he confessing everything and not make me have to go through this.

Lucas took me to our room and he locked the door.
I gulped at thought of being sexually involved with him. I didn't want to.
How would I escape this?
Lucas walked slowly towards me.

"Gosh Stella i missed you so much" he slowly trailed his hands on my arms and upon reaching my shoulder removed my bra step. Trailing kisses all along till my neck. I was still. "Didn't you miss me?" I nodded.
"Say it"
"What?"
"Say you missed me"
"Yeah uh I missed you"
He kissed me and forced his tongue into my mouth. I hated too much tongue. I wanted to push him out but i was so mad at Sebastian not opening up. Lucas grabbed my ass tightly and it was in that moment. I realised, I didn't wanna touch him nor wanna be touched. I felt disgusted. I didn't wanna do this. I wanted to push him out but his grip was so tight on me.
He pushed me on the bed and started making out. I did nothing just lay there squeezing my eyes and waiting for this to be over. When he reached on my shorts and tried pulling them out and i shot up and stopped him pulling my shorts back up.

"I'm on my periods" i shouted. "Yes I'm on my periods" i was all tensed and a drop of swear dropped down my forehead.
"Oh" Lucas said. " Are you sure?"
" Yes. Yes um I'm down. Ugh. That is why you know I haven't been looking so well" I gulped.
"It's alright" Lucas sighed and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and let out a breath of relief. "I just wanted to fuck you so bad... I had missed this so much on my trip" he said making me cringe. "Yeah. Me too" i gave out a fake laugh.

Sebastian knocked on our door. "Lucas it's Mads, your assistant. She's asking for you". Lucas opened the door. And Sebastian's eyes took a scan of the situation. He saw Lucas's butten down shirt and my scrunched top and his jaw clenched. Lucas took the phone from his hand walking out.
"Yeah mads... What is it" Lucas's voice trailed off as he went downstairs.

Sebastian looked hurt and he threw his fist on the wall and madw his way out.
"No Sebastian" i jumped out of the bed and followed him.
"No no it's not what it looks like" i followed him into his room. "It's... Nothing happened. I was waiting for you but i- i stopped before" Sebastian kicked his bedside corner. I ran towards him and hugged him tightly.

"I couldn't do it. I did not want him. I do not want him. I just want you" i said my face pressed on his back.
I could feel his breaths getting calmer.
"I'm sorry. I've put you through this. I'm so sorry. I-" he turned towards me.
"Hey hey hey no its not your fault. Don't be sorry. It's just" he cupped my face in his hands. "I- i don't know what to do Stella. I've never felt this way before. I haven't wanted a girl the way I want you so bad ever. It's so messed up. I don't really know what to do" I kissed him. We both had been so tensed but the kiss gave us a sense of relief and togetherness.
I looked towards his fist and he had a wound from banging his fist on the wall.
"Omg Sebastian. You're bleeding" i made him sit on his couch and pulled out a first aid kit. I blew out on his fingers, "does it hurt?" I looked at him and he was already looking at me with amuse "not really" he said looking at me.
We both were sharing this eye contact when Lucas cleared his throat.