FLYING | Sequel of FALLEN (NaNoWriMo 2022 WINNER)

28.

I'm happy to be here today. I find myself questioning my choice to have stayed away from Marcel for so long. Was it childish of me to push him away these past few days? I don't think it was necessarily the right thing to do, but it's what I did. And I can't change that fact.

These last few days alone made me question myself, my desires, and I let myself get bored to find some of the answers I didn't know I needed. Being lied to again like that, I wouldn't have let it slide one more time. I needed to get in sync with myself again. I'm maybe only sorry it meant to be away from Marcel.

Seeing him teach, it felt so natural. It made him so approachable. A man speaking from passion, knowledge, and talent. I didn't know him to be a great orator. He is. I'm very happy to have stepped on my pride and joined him.

"Qu'est-ce que cette scène révèle sur nos personnages? Qu'est-ce qu'elle révèle sur l'environnement dans lequel ils sont? Et comment l'auteur s'y prend-t-il pour véhiculer sa critique de la société qu'il a dépeint sur nos personnages et leur environnement?" Marcel's voice speaks confidently, a thoughtful question I find myself not able to answer right away.

No one raises their hand to answer. Nobody even types anymore. I even stopped taking notes. We all looked at him. Lost in thought, trying to think of clues in the text of his PowerPoint projected on the big screen in front of us. He finally answers with the next slide.

My attraction to him doubled despite my best effort to maintain a steady heartbeat. I love this man more than anything in this world, that's why the betrayal cut so deep. I stopped listening for a moment, to gather my thoughts and focus on why I came here in the first place.

If my heart was filled with betrayal from the build up of my loneliness of the last two weeks, it's vanished now. No matter the lies, how much he has hurt me, the man in front of me amazes me and I love him. Before judging his actions any further, I will do what I should have done instead of running away like I always do, I will listen to him. I made my point, even if I punished myself by staying away from him for so long. He shouldn't have lied to me. What could have happened that night to make him think he couldn't tell me the truth? What could be that truth?

Although this whole situation is fucked up and we both seem to have done things we shouldn't have, I don't regret any of it. I handled things on my own. I was scared as shit to face another country alone and do my business without Marcel, because he has always guided me every step of the way. It made me realise that I didn't need him as much as I thought either. I could have done my book tour alone with a simple assistant helping me set up my stand and deal with the merchants. I didn't need newly turned editor Marcel to be with me. And probably, if Edith had really accompanied me as it was initially discussed, maybe she would have been with me for only the first few dates and let somebody else take her place. It's been two and a half months since my book came out. A lot has changed since then.

A lot has changed since then.

"C'est tout pour cette leçon. Si vous n'avez pas plus de questions, Professeur Popovic vous retrouvera la semaine prochaine à la même heure. Merci." Marcel concludes the class graciously with a soft smile to the class before resting his gaze on me.

I sigh from afar, tension already building from the words that are thought in our minds, syncing despite the buzzing of the students around us. Someone gets up from his seat and leaves the classroom, breaking the momentum between my mate and I. I look down and close my notebook to pack my things. I follow the two students that sat next to me down the row and down the steps to the front of the class. Marcel is closing his tabs on his computer, until they all vanish and only the picture of us remains as a wallpaper. Through the projector, I see him turning off his device and we fade to black on the white board on the wall.