Secrets Unfold Into Pain (A Sansby Story)

stress and mistakes

TW: DETAILED SH

Grillby's

I wake up with a massive hangover and pain shooting through my arm and I groan in pain. "fuck, I drank too much. " I mumble sitting up and sigh, remembering I still have work. "SHIT, I STILL HAVE WORK! " I yell completely forgetting. I check the time and see I have 10 minutes to get ready and get to my bar if I want to open on time.

I bolt upstairs, almost tripping and quickly get changed. I rush downstairs and grab my keys, lock up my house and speed to the bar. I quickly unlock it. I check everything. And everything looks fine. I open and wait as people slowly start filling in. "Fuck that was close." I think. I have a pounding headache and my arm is taking longer to subside the pain as I didn't let it rest.

I decided not to talk today and just try to get through today. I continue working for 4 hours before I saw sans come in "god why can't he just miss a day. " I think. "No ketchup today. " he says which surprised me but I listen giving a slight nod.

"So can we hang today? " he asks. I really want to but at the same time Im a mess.. But he looked so upset when I said no. I do have today free after work.. "Sure " I sign and his face lights up a bit "cool. where do you want to hang out? It should be inside as I believe it supposed to rain later tonight. My house is still a mess from me drinking.

" your house is fine. " I reply, talking and he smiles more "sounds good. " he says as my heart just aches at the smile that I've craved to see but don't deserve.

Oddly enough it wasn't as busy today as normal, which I was thankful for. Sans kept talking to me even at times I wouldn't respond he still talked Till eventually he got me to reply. And soon we started talking like nothing has changed..and it actually made me feel a lot better. Made me feel like nothing had happened. And I could tell he was happy too.

I smiled and laughed at his dumb pun and blush as I saw his face light up. He stays with me until closing and even helped me clean. It was nice forgetting about my worries with him. I do still have my worries but seeing his smile makes them go away. My only fear is not being able to see that smile again.. That's what I'm worried about.

"Hey grill " he nudges me bringing me out of my thought "you ok? " he asks with a slight smile and I can't help but smile a bit back "yeah sorry. I got lost in thought I suppose. " I say. And he nods "I could tell. " he chuckles.

We finish and lock up. I tell him I'll meet him at his house as I need to get changed out of my work clothes and he nods, teleporting home. I get in my car and drive home. I unlock the door to see the mess I made last night "oh yeah.. " I say forgetting what happened.

I got changed and cleaned the mess I made. "I'm becoming a mess, aren't I.." I sigh to myself. After I did that I drive to sans' house and knock on his door and papyrus answers "oh, hello grillby! " he said moving to the side to let me in and I just stand there starting to externally panic, my flames flaring a bit as I take a step back.

"Grillby? " I heard sans say, snapping me out of my panic" oh sorry. Thank you papyrus. " I say calming down my flames and walking in. "No problem grillby, are you alright?" pap asked "Yeah I'm fine. I'm just a little off today. " I say and they nod.

Sans pov:

We shrug off what happened and me and grill go upstairs in my room and continue talking. "How's your hand doing? " I ask "it's alright. It hurts in the morning but nothing terrible. " he says "I'm still surprised you could heal it as much as you did. " he smiles.

"I'm glad we were too. " I smile back. "And I'm glad to be talking to you again. I've been really worried about you.. " I say and he hugs me "don't worry about me, I'm alright. I just have a but on my plate at the moment. " he says and I hug back blushing a bit. After a while I look up to him and he had a thoughtful look "is something wrong? " I ask, letting go of the hug.

"I-...I can't deal with this anymore! I need to tell you-" "Sans! Come here! " pap yells up, cutting off grillby "oh uh do you mind holding that thought grill? " I ask and pauses before nodding and I walk out my room with grillby and look over the railing to see asgore and gaster talking to pap "Come on grill " I say and go to walk downstairs but he doesn't move and his flames flair up in defense, with fear in his eyes, gripping onto the rail, burning it slightly "Grill?..you ok..?" I ask worried "hm? O-oh yes, sorry. " he says, letting go

I walk down with him following behind me "oh hello, grillby. Nice to see you. " asgore smiles "you too asgore. " grillby shakes asgore's hand. "Ah so you're the one sans has been talking about?" Gaster asks and grill stiffens before nodding " I suppose so.." grill says hesitantly shaking gaster hand.

"Odd" I mumble. "Apologies but I suppose I should go. I don't want to intrude on your time with them " he says "oh no we came unexpectedly. Please don't let our arrival stop you. We just wanted to stop by for a bit we shall leave soon." explained asgore with a apologetic but reassuring smile "Yeah, you don't gotta go. " I said reassuring him.

"Yes, stay " said gaster and grill sighs " a-alright then, thank you " he says. We all sit down and talk asgore asking how we've been.

grillbys pov:

I sit down next to sans as they talk and I not dare say a word unless spoken too. I start scratching my hand as that's what I do when nervous and sans took notice and held my hand reassuringly as he doesn't like when I do that, and I blush slightly, calming down.

"So grillby, how is your bar doing? " asgore asks. "it's doing well. It's in vary good shape and I maintain it everyday. " I say proud. "Wonderful! I'm glad it's doing well. " he said "as am I. " I reply.

After a while asgore and gaster take their leave. "I hope to talk to you again, grillby. " said gaster and I pause "yeah. " I reply, him giving me one last glair before leaving. And I let out a sigh calming down.

"So grillby what was it you wanted to say before? " asked sans surprising me and I rub my obsidian hand "nothing.. " I reply. I can't tell him about it. How stupid. I was to put that at risk..

"I must go now. my Apologies. " I say getting up "oh " I heard sans say. He gave me a hug before I left and I drove home.

I went into my house and just went straight in my room after locking the front door. I don't make myself dinner as I don't have an appetite. I sat down on my bed.

*TW: DETAILED SH*

I can't tell him. With everything at risk I can't tell him. But he's trusting me to tell him everything. I'm making him worry about me. It's all my fault if only I wasn't scared of him. If only I was stronger. Why am I so weak. Fuck I'm pathetic. Why did he heal me, I deserve that pain. I'm toying with his feelings because of my emotional state.

All of these thoughts made my head spin. I realized I left my phone downstairs. I go downstairs to grab my phone in my living room. As I walk down my stairs I look over to my kitchen and see the sink dripping water. I guess I didn't turn it off all the way. I go to turn it off but I just pause and look at it.

"You should touch it. " I heard in the back of my mind "If I touch it it'll hurt me." I think. "Yes but you said you deserve that pain, did you not? You're hurting sans aren't you. Why can you feel ok? " it replies. "I can't, but-" "but what. " it replies And I pause thinking.

I slowly take off my glove and put my hand under the tap with a drop hitting it, hearing a slight hiss as it makes contact as I take a bit of damage. I hiss in slight pain but. Oddly enough the pain made me feel better. Im getting what I deserve, right..?

Without another thought I turn the tap on to let water flow out onto my arm. And I clench my hand in pain as I let tears flow down my face. I Yelp and whimper at the sudden pain, Watching as my hp starts going down slowly. I stop before it got too low and look at the new obsidian streaks down my arm with tears still falling down my face.

I take a deep breath calming down a bit as I turn off the tap. I go upstairs and plug in my phone. I put a hoodie on so I don't have to look at what I just did, already ashamed of my actions. I lay down on my bed and slowly cry myself to sleep.