Second Chances

Remembering You

Feyre

I lean the bouquet of assorted flowers against his tombstone and stand back up, slowly. Tears stream down my cheeks as memories from that night flood through me. What was supposed to be one of the most amazing nights of our lives high school graduation turned into a complete nightmare that ultimately changed my life. I still haven't recovered.

It's been three years since the accident and the nightmares still haunt me sometimes, which are followed by a tsunami wave of survivors guilt. I was there and I should have died too, but somehow I managed to survive. It went from a silly, drunken decision to the worst mistake of my life so fast. We had been drunk on the beach, a hundred yards away from the graduation party we were at. We were passing a bottle of whisky back and forth, when I decided I wanted to skinny dip in the freezing ocean.

Archer joined me because why not? It was one of the things that brought us together spontaneous ideas even if they were a little crazy sometimes. He was my best friend and the first guy I had ever, truly loved. Jack was inside with whatever girl clung to him but eventually he came out to find us. I was running down the beach towards the water with Arch hot on my tail. We both ran into the water with zero hesitation and dove head first into the waves.

I remember looking back and seeing Jack and some girl sitting in the sand near our clothes, sipping on the bottle of whiskey. I waved to him and he gave me one back. Archer grabbed me and we kissed, swam around and splashed each other. He swam farther out and that's when a huge wave came in and sucked us into the undertow. I remember trying not to panic and fighting to get to the surface when strong arms wrap around my waist and bring me up.

I blacked out after that and woke up in the hospital. They were able to resuscitate me and get me breathing again, but not Archer. He hit his head on a rock, knocked out and drowned before they were able to find him. I found out in the hospital and had a complete mental break down because I felt responsible since it was my irrational idea. I haven't been the same since then and honestly, I don't think I ever will be. I hate the ocean and haven't been since the accident.

I come home for the weekend every year around this time to visit his grave and see his family. We grew up together, his family lives next door so our families have always been close. He has a younger sister Noel whose my brother Greyson's age who's been like a younger sister to me all these years. We talk often and FaceTime to catch up on life. I feel even more responsible of her since he's been gone.

My mom cooks us all a big family dinner where we share stories and reminisce. I leave the following evening, back to Cambridge with Jack. Kenzie, my best friends picks us up from the airport and drives us back to our apartment. We drop Jack off at the hockey house and then we head to our place.

I'm quiet the whole ride, staring out the window. It's the beginning of summer break. So the suns been setting later and it's warm all through out the night. I came to terms with everything a while ago, after a lot of therapy and working on myself. But, around this time I get taken back to that dark night and it sucks all of the light and happiness away from me for a little bit. Kenzie knows, she's been there for me since we met our freshman year in the dorms.

I feel her blue eyes one of "You okay Fey?" She asks calmly.

I turn and flash her a half smile "I'm alright, just... missing him more than usual today" I say with a sigh.

She lightly squeezes my shoulder to provide some comfort "He's always with you Fey, smiling down and watching you move on with your life. He would be so proud of you, never forget that"