Miscellaneous

XI- Michael

Across the hall, I find her standing the way she was the day that I first met her.

Confused, dazed, wishing she could retreat into herself. The beauty she radiated was not the only reason I found myself wanting to walk toward her that day, it was the energy she radiated. She was insanely magnetic as if there was a field around her pulling me in ferociously.

I remember she had that look of worry on her face, not disgust like the rest. Amongst the crowd of people dancing like it was their last day alive, she was the only steady body. The lights flickered and changed colors every time I blinked, yet she still stood there, refusing to break the bond we were seeming to create.

When I stood beside her, I towered over her, hands trying to contain the bloody nose I sustained from an altercation with that goddamned hell-hound, Kyle Kenneth.

"Hey." I had said, unbeknownst to my reasoning behind it. She simpered as if she knew I was contemplating my actions.

Watching her smile coyly, I found myself grinning ear to ear as if we even talked to each other. "Hey, you." She had said, before redirecting her attention to my nose. "Oh my god, what happened to you?"

Although I was aching and my nose was begging me to not speak, I did it anyways. "A small problem with some guy. Might've broken my nose but he deserved it."

"What are you about to say next? 'You should definitely see the other guy, he looks much worse' is that what's coming next?"

I had managed to let out a small chuckle before wincing in pain, "This is not a cliche where a dude with piercing eyes gets treated by some girl then they fall in love."

She laughed at that like I had told her the funniest thing ever. It's absurd that she didn't think I was a little fucked up for standing around and talking to her as if I wasn't dying from that unbearable pain. "Come with me, we can't keep letting your nose bleed. It could be broken."

Then, while walking between the crowds of people as she tugs at my arm to trail behind her, I caught her smiling at me again. "Besides, it would hurt to lose a pretty face like that to a messed up nose."

It's not like I haven't ever been told I was good-looking or pretty, it's just that coming from her, with her perfect blonde hair, dark eyes, and winsome smile, it feels almost absurd. My brain was going a million miles per hour as my body crashed with people over and over. Maybe, it's all the gas I've been smoking or maybe it was just her cathartic touch.

I couldn't tell if any of that was good or not

Once we were outside, we found the wind blew almost too violently. Her hair wasn't in her face or anything, which struck me as surreal, because who's hair manages to look great even in such crappy weather? Once I took a good look at her, I realized that she went to our school. It was embarrassing enough that I had her escort me out of a party to tend my wounds but the mere fact that I didn't even know her name made me feel like I was out of touch with reality.

"Gosh, if it could stop being so windy." She complained. That very minute the wind subsided and it was breathtakingly serene. I couldn't even believe my eyes or ears, it was as if the sky had listened to her.

She sat on the concrete as if it didn't bother her, so I did the same. Tissue after tissue, she held my nose as I bent forward because apparently, if she manages to make my blood clot, the bleeding will stop. I didn't dare to speak a word but she talked nonstop, which felt great.

It didn't feel like I was being put under a microscope or anything. Instead, it felt like I was simply being cared for.

"Head up, the bleeding seems to have stopped." She said, beaming at me. "Wait here, I'll try to find ice or anything cold."

Just as quickly as she came, she left. I waited patiently, fiddling with my fingers and wincing every time I tried to touch my nose. I didn't even know her to begin with, not even her name, yet I let her help me. Not only that, I listened to her talk about whatever crossed her mind and made a mental note of remembering it for later.

That was definitely not basketball superstar-independent-golden boy-Michael of me.

"Can you believe this, I actually managed to find ice! We owe Cody one for his heroic contributions." She sat back down and pressed the bunched-up ice conveniently wrapped in kitchen tissue onto my nose. I grunted and almost snapped, the look of complete sympathy on her face held me back down, though. "I know, it hurts, buddy." She said.

At that point, I expected her to cradle me forever and ever. It sounded perfectly sane to me at the moment, for her to hug and tell me it was going to be alright as if I was a little kid.

Michael, remember. Remember everything and focus.

That's when I straightened up and pushed her hand away, "I think I'm okay now, I can ice it myself." There I went, pushing people out of my life before things even got started.

I half expected her to make a scene out of it, maybe throw the ice at me or even walk away angrily. She didn't do any of that, she didn't even react negatively. Her face only showed me yet another smile and her eyes were telling me that it was okay to slip away this one time.

She didn't physically say anything though, only reapplied the ice and waited before changing places and sides. I couldn't help but watch her with this growing shame inside my heart as if I owed her something of sorts.

An explanation, perhaps, would've saved me enough guilt but my ego was too polished to be disregarded. So instead of telling her what was hanging on my tongue, I knitted my eyebrows together and looked anywhere but at her eyes.

"You never told me your name."

I looked up to see her eyes trying to read me, and figure out what I'm hiding behind this facade. It's never that easy to get to me, even with girls as showstopping as her, not even with my family or friends. It's always been me and balling, no more than that.

My mouth betrayed me. "Michael."

A warm, welcoming smile had spread over her face. I wanted to smile back, tell her everything on my mind and heart, maybe even kiss her as if I will ever see her again.

It wasn't some kind of movie where we have one unforgettable night and it goes back to never knowing each other, so naturally, none of the kissing or telling ended up happening.

It was just me staring at her smiling and her reaching over to brush a few hairs out of my face.

"Michael, huh? I don't like this Michael very much." She had said, getting really close to me. I couldn't feel ice on my nose anymore because it was no longer held by her. Instead, her cold hands reached to hold mine. "You see these cold hands of mine, they're like you."

Ouch.

"You see how warm your hands are? That's me." She continued.

What's that supposed to mean?

Eventually, there was no more coldness pressed against me. Just two warm hands holding each other in an awkward position. "And you see our hands now? Pure warmth. Two wrongs don't make a right, which is why I'm here."

I didn't understand her point at all, so I sat quietly waiting for any sort of explanation but there was none really. "Someday you'll understand, Mikey, but now just think. Okay?"

All I recall was smiling because I couldn't help myself, "Okay."

That was how I fell in love with Charmaine Ladislava Langlais one time after the other. Every smile took me to cloud nine and threw me back down. Every time she touched me it was letting a foreign object enter my field but in the best way possible because that very same thing turned out to be my favorite thing ever. She might've changed but so did I. She became the moon and I became the sun, but we were still two polar bodies aching for each other.

And I'll ache for her till my very last breath. Because I, I'm her Michael.

Mikey.

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