If I could simply dissentregrate, I would do it at any given chance. Even worse, if I could stop seeing right now, I would gladly do it. Rather than witnessing what I had been accustomed to see, I would take years of staring at walls or being completely unable to recognize what I'm seeing.
Nothing could've prepared me for this outcome, when it all started as a search for an old family friend for the sake of my father. Nobody warned me that I would be sitting in the room of a bewitching, perfectly fit, six foot something Asian, who has one hell of a way with words.
It was almost too real to begin with anyways, I dont know what I was expecting.
"Listen, I swear, I couldn't have known." I practically hiss, throwing my hands up. Goddamned James Albrecht is sitting right in front of me in that same Burberry coat that brought us together the first time.
He might as well be my soulmate with all the coincidences occurring.
I expect him to snap but he's chuckling and laughing as if it's nothing. The original target, Kai, puts on a shirt—I'm assuming out of pure panic. He's explaining to James that he wouldn't have flirted with me if he had any knowledge of who I was, because apparently, he's convinced he's just broken his friends trust.
"James, I would take you over any girl in the world. Alluring or not, I've got you and you always come first." He says. "Please don't let some blonde get between us."
Excuse me? Some blonde?
As if on cue, James looks at me and I see his lips curl up again. "Yeah, you heard that. You're just some blonde." Kai peers at me and actually sides with James, not even hesitating. They're just like me and Priscilla, tight knit and truly close.
If it weren't for father's request I would've been long gone but circumstances keep me waiting here, letting my dignity and pride slip away one after the other. I feel myself being crushed by their looks and words, as if I'm at their mercy.
"I really have no intention of coming between you guys." I start, trying my hardest not to burst out of anger, "It's just that my father really needs the help Kai's family have to offer."
That gets James' attention and it's only then that I realize he's going to use this against me. Yet again, another weak point for him to strike—Great job, Charmaine, you messed up.
"Yeah, dude, her mom's downstairs talking to my parents. Something about needing the money for a lawyer, nothing too crazy." Kai offers the information and I sink even deeper in the cushion under me.
When I look up, I'm pretty sure there's a look of utter defeat on my face because James is leering at me, a disgusntly smug look on his face. It almost hurts that he manages to look hunky. Everyday, I hate him more and more for being this insanely attractive.
In fact, I hate that I'm slightly enjoying the tension between us.
"Is that so?" He starts, "In that case, maybe we could do her and your parents a little favour" He finishes off, with this ungodly look on his face. I can already tell where this is going and it's making me fall into myself deeper.
When I stare into him in pure horror, he chuckles, suppressing a laugh. "Oh this is going to be real fun, right, Charmaine? We're going to be close and all that, doesn't that sound great?"
Something in me tells me that he has other plans under the covers but I pretend to look as relaxed as possible. One of my legs is obviously betraying me as it moves uncontrollably, my nail-biting makes it apparent that I'm nervous, and I can't even make a healthy amount of eye contact.
You wanted the chase, the thrill, wasn't it? There you go, Charmaine, soak it up you goddamned idiot.
Today is quite literally the definition of 'be careful what you wish for' and I don't think I will ever get the chance to forget it. Not even in a million years will I stop being paranoid for everything I desire, given the consequences I had to face today alone.
"I have a boyfriend." I blurt out, regretting my words. For a split second, I see James shifting and all the smugness he racked up dissolving like an Alka seltzer tablet in water. It was almost as if he was let down, not in a shocked way, but more of in a hopelessly sad manner.
Of course, he picks his ego up almost instantly. "We're not going to tell your little boyfriend anything anyways, this isn't about your boyfriend. It's about your family and lawyers now."
"You've actually got a boyfriend, oh man." Complains Kai, before being met with James' disapproving look.
"Seen her at school with some white guy, seems like she's dating him" James said, looking back at me again. "Correct?"
I shrug, wanting to tell him it's all a lie, a stupid little facade that I've put on out of my desire for my cash. Now, I'm paranoid that it's going to bite me back because seeing this situation, I'm almost scared that everything I've done will come back for me.
"That's...true. His name's Michael-"
"Benjamin Miller. Yes, I'm quite aware. Captain of the basketball team and school-wide heartthrob, we know."
If jaws could drop to the ground, mine would've been there by now. It's almost insane how he knows all this information within almost a week of attending our school. It's as if he's got eyes everywhere already, ears everywhere already, hell even a presences everywhere already. None of it makes sense, from the push and pull to his intentions. Like a dirty mirror that needs lots of glass cleaner, my situation is starting to seem too hard to even repair.
"James, can we talk outside. Please?"
He doesn't hesitate, not even subtly. Following me out of the room, he closes the door behind him as if to keep whatever is shared between us. It clicks shut just as he turns to face me and it's taking every inch of me not to apologize and cry, anything to stop this hell I'm forced to live in.
Maybe he thinks I deserve every second of it, which makes sense, but whatever happened to mercy? Whatever happened to at least feeling a tad bit of guilt and compassion?
What's more important is whatever happened to looking at someone you hate with the right feeling—hate—is not working. Because looking at him, I am swarmed by fear, guilt, and all this infatuation. There's a high chance he will never hear this because one, people like me never fall in love, and two, imagine how much of a liar I sound like given all the things I've done to him.
As if he senses the way I'm lost in my thoughts, he places a sturdy hand on my shoulder. It climbs up to side of my face and it's clear this direction we're steering in is an incredibly messed up, ugly one.
"James, what exactly are you doing?"
I hate that he looks at me like I'm something to consume as if there's no wrsge between us. "Shut up, Charmaine Langlais, let me do the talking."
A pause.
"And doing."
•
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Miscellaneous
Teen Fiction"If money can't buy happiness, tell me why you're happier around me?" In Charmaine's heart, there's only one thing that she's reserved a place for and that's money. With that being her motto and purpose, she thrives on dating countless people of al...
