Lily Daly - My baby girl

chapter 5

"everything will be fine, i promise"

Those were the words that daisy and her mum said to me as i left them, making my way into the cafe to meet up with rachel. I was nervous, scared and excited to see where this conversation would lead to. As i opened the door, i saw her sat down at a table with a coffee in her hands. i went over and joined her, and was met with her big smile.

"Hi lily, thanks for wanting to see me" i smiled at her, replying to her soft sounding voice.

"I mean you are my mum" i said causing us both to chuckle. Rachel went to get me a drink leaving me to prepare myself for the conversation to come.

"Ok I know I want to get to know you and vice versa, but before that, there is probably 10 thousands question you want to ask me. So ask away kiddo." I thought for a second before starting, what must of felt like an interview for Rachel.

"Well first of all why did you give me up?" She did the same as me and took a deep breath before giving me her answer.

"So when I found out I was pregnant, I was 17. It was the most exciting yet daunting news i had ever received. My football career had just taken off with me signing for Leeds United, yet i knew I wanted to bring you into this world but couldn't manage bringing up a child at that age. I regretted it so much but I promise you that I think of you everyday. That is why after I gave you up, I got your birthday tattooed on my arm." She said, showing me her tattoo again which I traced along the lines with my finger.

"That's understandable, did my dad not want to keep me?" She looked at me with a solemn face which made me more intrigued.

"You see, I met your dad when I was 16 and we were dating for a solid year before I fell pregnant. I am not going to lie, my relationship with him was almost a way of me hiding my sexuality and not wanting to face the truth of me being gay. He loved me and I loved him and our relationship was strong, but when I told him I was pregnant he flipped out and ran away. I haven't heard from him since." She said whilst taking a sip of her coffee.

"That must of been hard, but why did you want to get back in touch with me?" I said wanting to get straight to the point.

"Well I always knew I wanted to find you again and by keeping your name the same as I gave you, I knew it would make it the slightest bit easier. I never really said that 'this is exactly when I wanted to find you', but millie knew about you; so when she saw two close friends at a football match and said we should go and talk to them, I wasn't annoyed that it was you because it meant we could talk and reconnect"

"Ok fair enough, and don't get me wrong I want to get to you know, but how do I know you aren't going to abandon me again" I said looking at her dead in the eye.

She took my hands and placed them in hers and said, "Because everyday I miss you. Everyday I regret it. Everyday I wish I woke up and knew what you were doing. Everyday is a day I wish you were included in" At this point I think we were both in tears. She signalled for me to join her on her lap, she I willing did. I sat their on her lap, in her arms, just like any mother and daughter would do because at the end of the day she is my mum.

"I know I literally just found you again, but who are you living with?" She said breaking the hug we were in.

"They aren't nice. My foster parents that is" i said trying to interpret what she was going to say next.

"Do you not want to live there anymore?" so did she mean not live there and live with her?

"No but I have no where else to go, so I try and survive my best" I said laughing to try and hide the truthfulness in that sentence.