Memory once lost (Jack Ambrose x Reader)

Chapter 12 - Memories

(sorry this is gonna be rlllyyy short I promise the next chapter will be longer tho)
Warnings: lying, sad talk? 
Words: 1770

You, Dr Lavender and Clef sat in a room together, Clefs smile was a grimace now as Lavender paced. "Okay so, your family..We...We knew them." Cleff scoffed "you knew 'em. I didn't know any of those fuckers." He cursed holding his drink as Lavender looked at him scoffing. "Get over it Clef, they did what they did but that doesn't mean you can be a dick about it. Like every fucking thing else." Clef glared at her putting his drink down, you felt almost like a child watching their parents argue "oh how fucking rich coming from you, the person who can never get over shit." They were about to continue when you spoke "hey um- can you both fight at a later time. Not wanting to sound rude but, I want answers." The two looked at you and sighed. Clef spoke "yer dad was a part of my MTF squad." Lavender cut him off "and your mom was on my research team." Clef allowed Lavender to continue the story as he grabbed another drink. "They were married before joining and well we all kinda were friends in a way? I don't really know." Clef spoke "until they both fucking backstabbed us. Fucking left you with us." Lavender slapped Clefs shoulder, something so many others could do and end up dead. All Clef did though was grimace as she did so before looking at her as she spoke "they weren't in the right mind Clef. Don't be harsh to Y/n cause of what happened..." Clef looked away frowning as Lavender continued looking back at you with a sad expression "we don't know what happened, they had brought you here with them. You were bout three, I think? Maybe two. Your mother had left you with me for the day, Adam uh Elias's dad was ordering them to do a bunch of weird shit? I don't really remember so they probably were stressed out from all that" She paused for a moment taking a breath and observing your face to make sure you were handling this story "something happened to them, your dad started acting more aggressive. Your mom was always off and then eventually they both just vanished." You gasped a bit as Lavender nodded "the last we saw them they were running.." Clef was about to speak until you got up "I..I need some air" you quickly left the room feeling yourself on the verge of tears. 

Once the door had closed Lavender sighed her shoulders dropping "oh thank god. Do you think she bought it?" She turned towards Clef as he shrugged "running out of the room is probably a good sign." He put the glass down and patted Lavenders back "it's best she doesn't know, ever."  Lavender nodded as Clef poured her a glass "drink?" She nodded taking the glass "I'm gonna need a shit ton of that." She looked at the glass before just taking the whole bottle and chugging it. Clef laughed "whoa calm down Lavy, you're gonna burn your throat again doing that." He said taking a sip from his drink. Lavender coughed as she finished the bottle holding her throat "told ya" Dr Clef said chuckling, Lavender looked at him "I fucking hate lying. Especially to them like.." She kicked the chair in front of her "why can't we just tell her the truth?" She said looking at Clef, Clefs expression had changed from his usually smile to a frown as he spoke "because Lav if we do we risk endangering people damnit. It was risky enough telling them they're fucking immortal the 05 will probably be up our asses tomorrow for that." Lavender sighed "I know. I know." She leaned back in the chair, her antlers almost hitting the shelf above her "we're gonna have to keep this charade up forever." Clef nodded "yup."

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You had gone to SCP-999s room, the little orange blob seemed to be the only one who comforted you in times like these. All these moments of near break downs always made you go to 999..Wait you never saw 999 before Lavender showed you him...Were you remembering something? You looked at the blob wondering if you wanted to even continue remembering things, maybe there's a way to suppress them? You shook your head as the creature gurgled a bit holding some blocks as it sits in your lap. You were fully interrupted by your thoughts from the door opening "oh I didn't realize anyone was in here." You looked over to see a familiar face, but you couldn't quite place where he didn't seem to be surprised in any way as he spoke "ah Dr L/n I'm surprised to see you here. I thought you were still recovering from the incident?" You looked at the man confused until you spoke "I uh..Sorry I don't remember you..sir." He nodded before speaking "I'm Dr. Gears, I worked with you before the incident." You were about to ask him to not continue deciding you didn't want to remember your past but he continued on. "We had worked with SCP-173 at site-19 I will admit I was rather harsh on you during our time working together. I do regret that though." He said as you just stared at him, his face seemed so emotionless.. "I am quite glad you're back working with us Miss L/n, I shall see you later good day." He said before turning around and leaving, you didn't know why but those words made you feel a bit more at ease. You couldn't remember the doctor nor all the details of that day, but hearing those words made you smile and feel at peace for once. As you stood up you decided to leave waving goodbye to 999 as you left.

Meanwhile at Site-19 Dr. Shaw had decided to start working on himself, he knew how he had been acting wasn't..good. You didn't deserve that, hell no one deserved to have an ass for a friend. All this time he had used the excuse of losing you as to why he acted the way he did, but now you were back. You were back and he had only been pushing you away and teasing you, he sighed has he pushed himself back into his chair. He rubbed his face "I need to change." He told himself, his mind began to fight with him. Telling him to continue the path he was slowly creating, the path of pushing you away and being an insufferable fuck like Clef. He shook his head "no." He said aloud "I have to do this for them.." He thought for a moment looking at his hands before grabbing his amulet. His cold silver amulet "no..Myself. I have to do this for myself." With that he got up grabbing a trashcan nearby and began to clean up the bottles around his desk. The bottles he had been collecting during this time without you, he had gone back to his old ways realizing how awful it was without you. "I'll start talking to them, I'll apologize. I'll be the man they don't remember." He said to himself before leaving his office to go book a session with one of the therapists on site.

The days had passed by rather quickly as you enjoyed the less extreme SCPs that the foundation had to offer, you began to miss the chaos though... especially the chaos of Dr. Shaw. Sure he called you every now and then but you missed being near him. Especially since he seemed to somehow be getting better, he started talking to you normally. He had his moments of pushing you away but he'd usually try to catch himself, he even began to tell you somethings about your old life. You couldn't wait to see him again and luckily today your wishes to see him were answered. As Dr. Gears called you and Lavender into his office, Lavender seemed to glare at him the entire time as he spoke "the 05 council has decided to r-" he paused glancing at Lavender while he adjusted his glasses "Dr. Lavender must you glare at me like a child. Be professional please." Lavender was about to speak when you put a hand on her shoulder making her scoff as Gears continued "you both will be transported back to site-19 until further notice." He said before looking at you both "Uh thank you sir." Gears seemed to smile a bit at that but it was hardly noticeable, his face went back to it's emotionaless state as he spoke again "of course Dr. L/n. It was a pleasure to work with you again." He shook your hand before you both left Dr Gears in his office, making your way back to your rooms, Lavender looked at you mumbling something before making it to her own room parting from you. You looked confused before entering the room and quickly grabbing your phone texting Elias about you finally coming back. You smiled placing the phone down and began to pack up your things, feeling almost sad that you'd have to leave Dr. Lights and Clef behind. 

You made your way to the subway without Lavender, you had made a stop to say goodbye to Kondraki and Lights. You walked down the subways stairs passing by a few researchers who paid you no mind, as you waited for the subway to return you looked around for Lavender before spotting her. She was walking from the stairs fixing her jacket as she looked at you "you got here fast. Thought I'd beat ya since you wanted to visit Konny and Lights" She commented as you shrugged "And you took your time to say goodbye to Clef huh?" You joked as she snickered "oh fun-ee, I had to see Kondraki and a few other doctors as well." She looked down at you "you seem rather happy though" You smiled looking up at the tall woman "I'm just happy to see Elias again" you said as Lavender laughed "aww that's adorable kid, but let's just hope when we get there he doesn't have something up his sleeve ey?" You nodded as the subway finally appeared,  Lavender and you boarded the subway along with some other staff members. Todays ride was less crowded then the first one as you both sat down. You decided to get in a small nap on the subway, closing your eyes and soon enough drifting off to sleep hearing the simple babble of the doctors nearby.