Facade

21 || positively fucked

Song: Friends - Chase Atlantic
                              
~ Alejandra ~

I've come to realize after a lot of self reflection that I am not a very positive person.

What's that corny little kids saying to describe it? A negative Nana or something.

Regardless of the name, not only has the realization dawned on me, but I've also found through many hours of Google and YouTube research that a negative attitude can manifest into a negative outcome.

Do I believe that shit? Not in the slightest, but I'm running out of possible reasons as to why I keep ending up in these shit situations.

The situation that I don't want to be in today is clubbing.

No, not the fun clubbing where you get sexy and go out with your friends to get fucked up and maybe even get fucked by the end of the night.

I'm talking about after school clubbing, which is the worst kind in my professional opinion.

But, I'm choosing to have a positive outlook on life. If you make a conscious effort to feel good, good things will happen. At least that's according to Manifestation Tips on Youtube.

So, after meeting Nayah when ninth period ended - which I did not attend, by the way - we walked up to the fifth floor to our destination.

That being the abandoned, random classroom that Mr. A locked us in and smeared fake blood all over.

But, I'm going to look at the positive side.

This is going to be great!

Looking around the room, other than all the random shit in here, there's three girls waiting for the meeting to commence. That or they're just chilling in this creepy, dirty- I mean, they're just hanging out.

My eyes are drawn to the closets in the back that are still marked by dried, red paint.

This is going to be great, indeed.

"You guys are here for travel club right?" Nayah asks hopefully. They look at us and nod, causing her smile to widen.

"Great! Okay so I'm co-runner of the club along with Mr. A who should be here any minute." She explains to them so optimistically while they just look at her, strangely.

Her optimism and the fake blood in the random classroom that we're all sitting in probably doesn't give everyone a vote of confidence.

Wait, no. Positive side.

I force myself to smile at them. "Anayah is an amazing planner so, don't worry. We're in great hands."

The kind words have Nayah's eyes softening into genuine appreciation of my supportiveness.

Wait, could this be working?

I smile back at her, this one genuine, before three more strays enter the room, this time, two boys and one girl.

The trio comes inside and everyone begins mingling amongst themselves, showing the friendliness amongst the group already.

I nod at Nayah, a silent show of my faith in her as her chest swells with pride. That's when I realize why she was so nervous and insistent on us joining.

She didn't think anyone would show up.

We look at the clock to see that Mr. A is late, along with Ziek, who I'm going to kill if he doesn't show up for Nayah. Just as I let my non-positive thoughts creep in, the boy himself enters the room as if he heard my silent threat.