Facade

40|| anticipation

Song : Remind Me To Forget - Kygo, Miguel

~ Alejandra ~

The last time that I remember feeling excitement about an upcoming event was my tenth birthday.

When the night that was supposed to end in a movie marathon on the couch and a homemade cake that my mom baked from scratch turned out to be the last day of my happy childhood, I stopped deriving excitement from things that were supposed to thrill me.

Every milestone after hitting double digits, every experience meant to fulfill my growing adolescent spirit was numbed, making anything that should've sent even an ounce of exhilaration through me meaningless.

That is, of course, unless I was drunk, meaning that me looking up and seeing a star would send me into a fit of giggles and awe.

Regardless of any of that, today I'm feeling something close to the excitement that stirred in me all those years ago; Anticipation.

It feels strange getting up earlier than noon because of this joyous, jittery feeling stirring in my stomach that boosts me out of bed to partake in my plans for the day.

While it's nothing close to stupid or dangerous, driven by substances that'll give me a panic attack tomorrow, I'm somehow joyfully anxious to go out and shop with my friends for our trip to Mexico in two days.

Is it incredibly last minute? Yes, but what's the fun in doing something if it's not at least the tiniest bit chaotic?

Besides, we all have most of our stuff completely packed. The necessities like toiletries, towels, money and passports are all secure in our carry ons.

The only person missing more than most is, you guessed it, yours truly.

All we really need to get is more clothes and by we, I mean me and Nayah while we drag the boys along for the ride.

Who knows, they might tap into their inner femininity and enjoy themselves.

I have to admit though, I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I'm the one lacking most things needed, clothing wise.

I have never been out of state, let alone out of the country and the last time I wore a bathing suit was when I was nine.

The tits I grew within that time, while not massive, are big enough that they don't fit into my heart covered tankinis from back in the day.

Plus, while I have summer clothes, I don't own evening clothes, which Mr. A told us that we need since we are going to be having group dinners and there are also night activities.

I have no one to impress, but I don't want to go looking like the project girl that I am. There's also the tiniest part of me that wants to catch a certain Cartel prince's eye.

Okay, maybe I am trying to impress. Sue me.

In all honesty, I'm surprised that Gabriel even agreed to come shopping with us.

Despite his obvious cuddly and friendly demeanor, he doesn't seem like the type to enjoy girl talk and hours of looking at clothes.

His clothes are almost all the same so, maybe we'll find him something as colorful as his language and personality.

"What if they kill each other?" Nayah asks as she emerges back into the room after her shower, towel around her and shower cap on her head.

She got her hair braided last night for the trip and it looks stunning on her. I'm confused as to why she doesn't do it more often.