He's gone.
The two words that haunt Steve "The Hair" Harrington's deepest dreams. When Dustin had told him that Eddie died protecting all of them, well he broke. Nothing that any of the others could do.
While cleaning out Eddie's room he finds songs...
"Hello?" Her voice answered on the other end of the line.
Taking a silent breath I chuckled, "Hi."
"Steve. Took you long enough to call." Issa lightly let the silence linger before continuing, "You want to tell me why after all this time you decided to just stop talking to me?"
"I wanted to set you free." I said the words, but that was not the reality. I knew if we kept writing one day I would do the same disservice to her as Eddie did, leave this world without her getting a proper goodbye.
"That's bullshit and you know it." Issa's voice was sad, if I made her upset that was not my intention, far from it. I never wanted anyone to be sad... well except for maybe Maggie... she was the worst.
"Issa.." I start and I can hear her just sigh into the phone. It is probably one of the best noises I have ever heard, I pause, "You okay?"
"I always wondered what my name sounded like when you said it." She was quiet, "If you really don't want to talk to me anymore I can't stop you Steve. It was nice that we were there for each other as long as we were."
"Issa..." The more I said her name the more I wanted to hear it again and again, "Why didn't we ever think about calling each other?" I laid back with the phone, the cord pulling the base to the edge of the nightstand. I listened to her breathe, it was comforting, something I didn't even know I needed. I started to drift thinking about the sound of Eddie breathing, if he was to lay there next to me, would it sound like this, would it be just as comforting.
"I think I was just scared to get closer." She whispered the words, "Scared that you had this unyielding impression of who I was based on some standard you set based on your feelings for Eddie."
Oh no. His name on her lips was not what I wanted. It bristled me, it made me sick, it twisted pieces of me that I didn't know could be twisted. I was jealous of him, I was jealous of her, I was hating myself, I was ready to hang up and then I didn't move as I just wanted to lay here listening to her voice for longer. Why was one name filled with so much, why was it that he held such a place in my mind.
"Steve?" She was quiet, "Did you fall asleep?" She giggled a bit, the sound was so peaceful, it was music and it was mine.
NO! My mind shot the familiar pain, nothing is yours. Shit. I almost let myself think there was something left for me. She was Eddies. I was just creating this place for her and that is unfair.
"Issa. Do you want to have dinner with me and a couple of my... Eddie's friends?" There was just silence at the end of the line. I heard her take a breath, "I would like that."
Then she hung up, just like Robin, just like everyone in my life. There was a click and then I was back to reality. I was Steve, alone in a room, never with my warm embrace, never with my happy ending. Steve Fucking Harrington.
"FUCK!" I screamed to no one in particular. I felt the tears, the overwhelming emotions, it was always particularly hard after a good show, after seeing Gareth, my few grounding pleasures were denied tonight. No sex. No cocaine. Fuck.
I look back to the phone, do i dare? No. It's best to get myself cleaned up, to get myself to a place where I can pretend I'm not drowning. Pretend I don't want to fall to my death in the hopes that he will be there to catch me on the other side.
Gareth is right. I am waiting on a ghost, but what does anyone expect, that ghost was Eddie Munson.
Steve.Make him pay.
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