Vanished

Selma

"You can't still be mad at me," I said to Selma as she pranced across the coffee table in front of me with her tail swaying high in the air. This cold shoulder behavior had been going on ever since I returned from Memphis. It was like she was showing me how much I disappointed her by leaving her with my sister for a few days. I was pretty sure she'd had a good time, and that Brielle had entertained her, or bothered her. Either one was possible.

Selma stopped and gave me what could've been interpreted as a glare, and promptly sat down, right on top of one of the expensive travel books I had on display, and began to lick her hind legs.

"Oh, Selma," I sighed, but didn't bother to move her or the book.

I'd always wanted to travel. To go to Europe and see London, Paris and Rome. It was something I'd dreamed I'd be doing with Austin when we grew up, but then he left, and most of those dreams disappeared with him. Or maybe not the dreams. I still wanted to visit all these magical places I watched in the movies, or read about, hence the fancy books, but the drive to actually do it was no longer there.

But then, my dream destination had also changed to Topeka, Kansas, because that was where Austin was.

I wondered what their place looked like there? And what Austin would think of my apartment? I hoped that one day I'd be able to find out. My place was very different from both his cabin and the house where he'd lived in Boston.

Almost everything in my home had soft colors; beiges, mauves and light greens. Most of the decor was pretty feminine, but neutral thanks to my mother. She'd helped me pick out the furnishings after I bought the place.

Selma laid down on the table and stretched a paw out and while looking straight at me, curled her claws around the top of the book, leaving a few long scratches down the front of it.

"You little shit," I said and grabbed the book. Her response was to get up and jump down from the table without giving me another glance.

I couldn't help but laugh. Selma was the little queen of this apartment, but what would happen if Bear, Austin's German Shepherd, came to visit? Would they get along or fight like cats and dogs?

"If they ever actually get to meet," I sighed and leaned back against the cushions on the couch. I missed both Austin and Bear, but I knew it wasn't safe for them to come here. And it didn't help that Aubrey had started her interrogation as soon as I got back home and picked up Selma from her house. She'd been relentless ever since.

Every time I talked to her, she asked when I was going to see Austin next, and if he'd come to the big barbeque she and Brian always had on Labor Day weekend. I was running out of excuses, and it had only been a couple of weeks. It was to the point where I'd started to ignore her.

My phone rang, and I jumped for it, hoping it was Austin, even though I'd talked to him earlier, just to find it was my sister. Again.

I groaned and sat back down on the couch.

I knew she was going to ask me to come over for dinner on Saturday. Brielle missed me and wanted to "bake." I also knew I'd end up going because my niece was my favorite person in the world, next to Austin, and I felt guilty if I didn't.

It was just difficult to navigate my sister's interrogations. I'd almost messed up once already, that night when I came back from Memphis...

"So?" my sister had asked and practically dragged me across the threshold and into the house when I went to pick up Selma on my way home from the airport. "How was it?"

"Hi," I responded while I tried to get my footing. It was dark in her house except for some under the cabinet lighting in the kitchen and the light from the big tv in the livingroom. Brielle was already asleep.

"Yeah, yeah. Hi, hi, get to the good stuff," my sister demanded.

"Damn, woman," my brother-in-law's voice came from the couch. "Give her a chance to breathe."

"Thank you, Brian," I said.

"Seriously, B," Aubrey responded, and scowled at the back of the couch. "I have waited over ten years for this."

I couldn't hold back a laugh because she was being so ridiculous. But at the same time, I understood she was curious.

"It was amazing, Aubrey," I told her. "He's amazing."

"Yeah?" Her eyes twinkled and her face split up into a huge smile.

I nodded.

Her face fell when I didn't say anything more. "Then why do you look so upset?"

I sighed.

"It's hard, Aubrey. I don't know how long it will be until I'll see him again or if..." I stopped myself before I finished the sentence. I was going to say "or if he'll be okay," but I remembered that she and Brian didn't know any of the background, or why Austin couldn't just come visit me.

"Awww, you'll figure it out. Now you have something to look forward to."

I hoped she was right and that Austin wouldn't get cold feet again. He'd been pretty upset after our dinner Saturday night, even though he tried to play it off like it was no big deal, but I could tell it had rattled him. He became skittish in a whole different way than he'd been earlier.

I just hoped that all the words we'd spoken, all the love we'd shared, and the confessions we'd made meant something. That it was enough this time for him not to leave, again.