Mists of Celeste - an Ateez Fanfic

act six ➻ part seven

pre-a/n: explicit content ahead 👍 also 30k woohoo new record!

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With nothing much to do but recover from your wounds, days bleed together on the ship.

You wouldn't have much of an idea of what the others are up to in this extended period of nothingness because your days are spent between your room and the infirmary. Yunho claimed a few weeks at minimum until your ear fully heals from the abuse it suffered, and you feel that recovery time in full thanks to the accompanying vertigo that overwhelms you whenever you stray too far from your room for too long. It comes with its own set of unique perks, you suppose, ones that are rather singular to you. Minho doesn't press you to attend any awkward therapy sessions, for the time being, writing you off as still being too injured to have a good and coherent discussion about your mental state. You don't have to see your captain or his lieutenant thanks to their near-constant seclusion to the bridge in the days that follow after your return. Jongho and Yunho frequently come to visit you if only to curb your loneliness, and Wooyoung has seemingly taken upon himself the job of getting food to you in some manner. Some days, the din in the mess hall is too much for your addled brain to handle.

And, perhaps the most precious of them all, the darling live-in nurse of yours with his deep dimples and endless patience. You move from your room to his so often that you might as well simply move your belongings into his space, to share it together and have things be simpler that way, but San insists that you both still need the option to have your own rooms should the need arise. He thankfully doesn't urge you too hard to talk about any of the happenings on Rathmos, yet his eyes hold endless questions every time he looks in your direction. It isn't a topic you can run from forever, you suppose.

Wordless comfort becomes your greatest friend in those days as well. Whether it manifests in the form of lopsided smiles or minute touches, you are deeply grateful for it all. Even when Seonghwa is the next to deliver it unto you.

He appears rather suddenly on your doorstep on the fifth day of your return to the ship. Your ear is still ringing terribly for no particular reason, and you're in the midst of reaching for the next dose of medicine Yunho set out for you when the door slides open to reveal the lieutenant. San is at your side as always, tucked beneath the sheets and sleeping the morning away despite it being two hours from noon. Moments pass where the two of you simply exchange silent stares. You wait as patiently as you can for him to say something — anything, really — and take your pills in that breadth of quiet that flows through the room.

"I brought some books," he says at last once you've set your glass of water back on the bedside table. It's only then that you notice the small stack cradled underneath one of his arms.

"You can come in."

Seonghwa moves stiffly despite the invitation into your space, and he wastes no time in striding right towards the table where your water sits and laying the set of books down beside the glass. San hasn't budged in the slightest beside you, and you can still only see the top of his head against the cradle of sheets he's bundled up around his head. You reach down to fidget with a few strands that are out of place, smoothing them down to be less mussed until you're satisfied before returning to look up at the man on your left. He clears his throat as quietly as he can manage. His gaze is glued to San's form but you can't read whatever emotion rests in his eyes.

"They should be light reading, so nothing too — too strenuous or taxing to try to understand. I figured you needed some new material about Sirens, so I took a few from Captain's shelf while you were away."

It takes you a moment to process the fact that this is the first you're seeing of him since whatever odd altercation you witnessed on the bridge days ago. Seonghwa at least seems calmer now than he did then; whatever rage was boiling up inside him with Hongjoong has subsided before you and left more questions than answers. Then, the man had admitted the guilt laying heavy on his shoulders, and now you can feel a dull ache presenting itself in your chest. It is not one of your own creation or one that comes from your current feelings, so the only logical explanation is that Seonghwa is the one in some type of pain right now. You don't dare inquire about it.