Mists of Celeste - an Ateez Fanfic

act two ➻ part seven

"I'm afraid."

You kick at the water under your bare toes, barely feeling the chill of the liquid as your foot passes through it.

"I know, Y/N. I am too, but I promise he'll be okay."

The clearing is empty tonight. Your only company is the brilliant red moon hanging in the sky above you and a scattering of stars around it. Daichi's absence does not go unnoticed in your eyes, although you can't say you miss his presence all too much with what you went through before sleeping.

"That's not what I'm afraid of..."

It is a mystery as to why you are visiting this dreamscape now of all times, especially considering Daichi's absence. You would rather just dream normally, but that would welcome nightmares that you don't want to see or experience for a long time.

"What are you afraid of?"

You squint at the water underneath you. Your reflection glares back at you, just as cruel and cold as always, and no matter how many times you kick it away, it comes straight back after a few ripples. Infuriating. The one person you want to run away from the most is ironically the one you can't run from at all.

"Myself."

That's what you had told Seonghwa when he asked what you meant. A lapse in judgment perhaps, opening a can of worms that should never be opened to anyone, and yet it spilled from your lips with no hesitation whatsoever. Stupid. You ought to learn to control your tongue better. At least, that's what Daichi would scold you for.

"Don't open up to anyone."

"Hide yourself."

"You're better off on your own."

And yet, here you are alone, and you don't feel better off at all. Because you aren't truly alone, and that reflection in the shallow lake keeps glaring back at you, and you can't pull your thoughts away from what happened in that warehouse. Seonghwa didn't ask you to elaborate on what the hell you meant when you said you were scared of yourself, but he didn't need to. Your loose lips spilled the truth after two minutes of tears and hand-holding.

"I became someone else when she s-stabbed San. I don't... I don't know. I-I have no idea what came over me, b-but I became someone I never thought I would be. Someone I never wanted to be."

Perhaps Daichi had valid points in saying that you shouldn't get attached. If becoming attached will cause you to turn into the monster who chased Cara into a corner, then you never want to become attached to anyone or anything. It's a bit late to make those claims, though, because again, your thoughts are filled with San. San, San, San.

You aren't the type of person who particularly enjoys exploring emotions and thoughts, but you need to get to the bottom of where that monster came from. The only way to do that is to confront the beast head-on. It's not like your reflection in the lake is going to jump up and talk to you, however, so you plop to the wet ground and cross your legs under you.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Y/N?" You mutter to your reflection, watching minuscule waves ripple across the surface of the water. "The last person you were attached to was..."

"You did well, Y/N. Remember that."

Impossibly tall brick walls. It took nearly half an hour to scale just one of them with a sniper on your back. Thirty-two members of the Royal Guard of Eros lined up along a purple carpet. The ego of that king was baffling to a ridiculous degree. Who else would set a royal rug out for a private execution? There he sat upon a gilded throne, golden crown resting on the top of his head. And then – two more members of the royal guard, arms looped around a prisoner who was dragging heavy chains behind him. A black hood over his face, but you knew exactly who he was.