It was dark and cold. And it smelt like rusted metal. The ground swayed and I was moving upwards, that I knew for sure. I focused on these things because I knew that if I didn't, I might bash my head against the wall trying to get every memory I ever had back.
But I was a blank canvas, waiting to be filled with new memories. And my first one was this black hellhole. I didn't know where I was, I had no idea how I got here, and worst of all, I didn't know who I was. The only bright side was that I knew my name.
Jane.
I repeated it to myself, begged myself not to forget it. Ever. Because the only thing that I remembered outside of myself was the world and how it worked. The way the sun looked when it hit the top of a lake just right. The moon in a clear night sky. People walking about in a busy city square, going about their day.
But I couldn't recall anything about myself. Who were my parents? Did I have siblings? A dog? Friends? How old was I? How did I end up here?
Oh god no, I was dwelling too much on it. I went too deep. My chest burned as each breath came out more rugged than the last. I felt the tears before they came down, it felt intrusive but familiar. It came so easy, but I was hyperventilating. I knew that.
My throat itched when the pressure began to build up and a hiccup released a sob. I don't want to be here. I didn't know where to go, but I knew it was far from here. Reflectively I pulled my knees up and placed my head between my knees. It hurt my temples as I clenched my body tight, but I had nothing else to do, and it was easier to focus on that then the way my mind wanted to tear itself apart than be here.
There was a slight shift in the movement of whatever I sat in, the speed picking up, not a lot, but enough to distract me. Hopefully it would be some place better than here. With light and fresh air. Would there be other people? Or would I be alone like I am now? I didn't know which one I wanted more.
After a while the world stopped moving with a small jolt. I yelped when my elbow came back and hit the smooth wall behind me. I hissed and rubbed it as a groaning sound echoed across the space and blinding light infiltrated my senses.
It was loud, not just the sunlight, but the noises that reached my ears. I made out the voices first. They were high, but low enough to tell me that they were young boys. A zap of fear shot through me. I heard no lighter voices of girls, just boys.
I was a girl wasn't I? I had to be around the same age as them, right? I was so clouded in confusion, mind reeling from any thought that shot around. I wanted to throw up.
"I wanna see the new greenie."
"Last one was a piece of crap, we don't need no other slopper."
"Watch your mouth shank."
"Or what slinthead?"
Were they speaking English? It had to be mixed with something. I could understand half of what they were saying. What were the funny words they added?
"Shut your traps." A voice barked. It was obvious who ever said it made their voice harder than it actually is. But everyone listened and it grew quiet. "Pull out the rope." Feet shuffled and there was some grunting, but then something was tossed into my space, that I now saw was a box. It thumped against the floor and I saw it was a thick vine with a loop tied at the end. "Put your foot in the hole shank." I figured that the voice was speaking to me, but I was scared and I couldn't move. What would they do to me as soon as I got up there?
But I was curious. What was even up there? What were they actually like? In the end, my curiosity won. I stood up on shaky feet, grabbing the itchy vine in my hand and putting my foot into the loop. "Okay."
