I ran into Nick halfway to the homestead. He was worried to say the least.
"Greenie, where the hell have you been? What happened?" Nick's hand touched my shoulder, but all I felt was His. I flinched away from him. "Jane?"
"I fell." I swallowed a sob, not looking Nick in the face. "In the deadheads."
Nick looked me over and I felt His eyes. "If something happened you can tell me-"
"Nothing happened!" I don't know why I was protecting Him. He hurt me, scared me. I wanted Him dead. But I couldn't bring myself to turn Him in. "I need a shower." I stuttered.
Nick was silent for a second and I wanted him to believe my lie, to just leave me alone, to not question my state. Which was no doubt too bad to have just fallen. And he does. "Okay, let's get you a change of clothes and I'll take you to the showers."
He followed silently behind me and I know he noticed my limp and the way that I had to pull myself up with the railing. I opened the door to my room and leaned under the bed to get my backpack. I hadn't bothered to move my stuff to the drawers.
I grabbed new clothes and stood up, still avoiding Nick's eyes. Especially because he was looking at me so hard. "Jane, are you sure you fell?" He wanted the truth, he didn't believe me. And who would? Honestly. I probably look how I feel. Defiled. I knew there were some twigs in my hair, they poked against my scalp. It was bad enough that my hair was already so messy. Now I have this to add to it.
I nodded and bit my tongue. If not, I might just blurt everything out. Nick nodded too, hurt in his eyes. I know he thinks I don't trust him. But I do, I trust him with my life if it came down to it. I just couldn't trust myself to say what happened. We walked back out the homestead and through the Glade. In the shadows of the deadheads I saw Him. He smirked at me. I looked straight ahead, holding my breath.
Nick went into the showers, made sure that no one was in there then let me in. "I'll guard the door, so no shanks get any ideas. There's some towels in that locker right there and you can choose any open one for yours." I nodded and he went out to guard the door.
I set my stuff down on the bench in the middle of the room, staring at the line of shower stalls. There weren't any doors on them and only a single faucet sprouted out of the wall. It had some handles on it for me to turn on the water and I was glad that there was hot water here. And even though it burned, I turned the water as hot as it could go. There was a bar of soap and I used it to rub myself clean.
My cuts hurt as I pulled at them and filled them with soap. My hair was a mess to go through and I cried as I pulled my fingers through the tangled strands. By the time I was down, everything hurt. I leaned against the cool wall of the stall, panting. I turned off the water, starting to suffocate from the hot steam that filled the whole building. And maybe I should. Just suffocate and die and not have to deal with any of this.
But I knew that wasn't smart. I couldn't. We had to get out of here. Maybe then I wouldn't be so tense.
I dried myself and got dressed, grateful that there had been a brush in the backpack. I pulled it through my hair and watched as it hung there. The curls were calm now, but I knew the humidity would ruin it as soon as it dried. I collected my things and put it in my locker, hanging my towel on the hook outside of the small door. Just like everyone else's. I made sure to pick a spot a few ways down from the boys.
Nick was leaning against the outside of the showers when I got out. His face was pulled into a frown, eyes scanning the Glade. It was later in the day now, sometime after noon. I assumed as everyone moved from the homestead back to work that lunch had just ended. "Clint said that you did amazing on the test and that he would recommend you for Med-jack." I remembered the folded up paper in the back pocket of my dirty jeans. "He said you had enough training, so you'll be with me the rest of the day." He smiled down at me-it didn't reach his eyes. "Think of it as training for the Leader one day."
