✍🏻See You Again

18 🫐 NHK Trophy

After having my days reduced to doing literally nothing, I start to slowly make the effort in doing some little tasks here and there. First I do a few, light exercises at home and then I even cook though I don't bother with anything complex. The sofa and the teepee are still my best friends but I expand my walking distance to the grocery store and eventually even to short walks in the park. Yuzuru occasionally texts me from Japan to check in on me and to keep me updated on his training but given the time difference, it feels like talking into a void and receiving only an echo several hours later.

The main test comes when I finally reach out to Marco and ask him to resume our on-ice training. Compiling that one brief text feels more exhausting than running a marathon but when it's finally sent, the heaviness on my chest feels just a little bit lighter. Not much, but lighter nevertheless. It may not be the goal I ever wanted to aim for but it's a goal and taking it step by step feels a little bit less taxing than imagining the empty future without skating altogether.

When I'm tying the shoelaces on my skates my fingers are trembling and I'm glad Marco picked a time when the rink is empty. Tracy is with Yuzuru in Japan, Brian is recovering from some minor surgery and everyone else is either at their own competitions or not having practice at this hour. It does feel a bit strange how it worked out and I'm about to ask if Marco actually asked the rest not to come but in the end, I just shrug it off, not exactly giving a damn anyway.

"Ready?" Marco extends his hand and I accept it with a nod, coming to the edge of the rink. I watch the light dancing across the fresh ice, how it glimmers and reflects faint shades of a rainbow, wondering how many more chances I'll get to stand on it with Marco by my side. I close my eyes and see myself in my living room, my luggage packed, and watching Marco's worried gaze as he lifts his eyes from his phone and slowly shakes his head to confirm Sandra didn't go into labor and we're not going anywhere. My chest tightens and it's hard to breathe, the feeling only intensifying when I open my eyes and see the empty rink in front of us.

"Ivy?"

My hand shoots to my chest and fists at my shirt as I take in a shaky breath and step back from the edge of the ice. Unable to tear my gaze from the white, glittering surface I stare at it in panic, my heart racing and thudding in my ears.

"Ivy, look at me."

I turn around and start running, making it only a few meters away on the skate guards before Marco gets hold of me and pulls me into a nearby room. I barely managed to run and yet my chest is heaving as if I ran a mile, the loud drumming in my ears drowning any sounds. I see Marco's lips moving, telling me something that's not reaching me until he comes closer and I try to focus on his deep green eyes. They are full of sympathy and I'm scared of the moment when he'll get fed up with me and call it all off altogether.

"I'm so sorry," I let out with a shaky voice, slowly coming back to myself the more I look into his eyes.

"That's okay."

"It's not."

"It will be."

I nod, not exactly believing his words but also not having anything else to say.

"Let's get change and go out," he suggests and I want to protest but don't feel like I have it in me to either argue or to question what his plan is.

By the time we arrive at the destination, I'm calm enough to have a normal conversation, and when my eyes land on the building in front of us I'm unable to suppress a short laugh.

"Dancing? Really?" I roll my eyes and shake my head but still smile widely the more I look at the building.

"That's what brought us together. And we haven't been dancing ever since we moved here."