Lose A Little To Save A Lot ↭ Bellamy Blake

twenty one

"First watch is over, what are you still doing out here?"

Bellamy's voice boomed in my ears suddenly, and I jumped. When I turned to look at him, his eyebrow was cocked, amused that he scared me. When I glared at him, he smirked.

"No one has come to take my place," I answered, gripping harder onto the gun around my shoulder. I hadn't had time to make new arrows for my bow, so I'd been sticking to using a gun. "Thought I'd stay until they did."

"Monroe said she'd be coming in a few minutes," Bellamy answered me. He was standing right next to me, looking out into the abyss of the woods. We stayed in silence for a few more minutes, then Bellamy spoke up again. "It's been two days, Zen. Think the bomb scared them off?"

"I highly doubt that," I answered, looking up at him. The sunlight that managed to peak through the trees illuminated on his freckles, which were now blood-free. "They're probably healing everyone they can; trying to rebuild their army. It pisses me off that they have the upper hand to do that. If we take them by surprise-"

"We don't know how many there are," Bellamy said abruptly, cutting me off. "We don't know where they are, what other weapons they use. The second we try to initiate the first move, we're dead."

"We're dead anyway," I replied bluntly. "Why not go down putting up a fight?"

"Because it'd be stupid to waste the time we have to build more bullets and prepare ourselves by going into the fight early with less resources," he answered back harshly. "We need to take the extra time we made for ourselves. That was the whole point of the bomb plan that you enforced."

"Yeah, well, now I'm getting antsy and just wish that I could die sooner, instead of sitting in anxiousness and jumping whenever someone comes up to me. I thought I was going to die the second after I told you to slow the grounders down. I never thought I'd be alive to witness the wait."

Bellamy looked down at me, his eyes wide with worry and pain. I had basically just told him my suicide note; that I wanted to give up. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He looked down at the ground, but this time, he wasn't smiling; and I didn't like it.

He whipped his head back and let out a sigh. He couldn't look at me anymore, he looked anywhere but into my eyes.

"Bellamy," I began quietly, "you know that there is no way out of this. Whether you like it or not, we are all going to die when the grounders come. I'd just like to get it over with."

"We don't know that," Bellamy said, turning his entire body to face me. "Zen, if you give up, we all give up. Ever since we've come down here you've been the one filled with confidence and courage. Don't lose it now, not when you need it the most. With you, we can win this. Yeah, we may lose a few people, but that happens down here. Lose a little to save a lot. I will not let you turn into a coward and find the easy way out of this. Whether you like it or not."

I took in his words, and he was right. I always had this large amount of strength since I've been down here. I could not let fear of being killed take that away from me. I said it myself, we should go down with a fight. And that's what I planned to do. For the past two days, I had been sulking and worrying about death. I need to focus on fighting, and surviving.

I finally let myself look to Bellamy, and saw that he was already looking at me. He was waiting for me to answer; to see if I was going to get over this depressed bump in the road and go back to being the fighter I was.

"I am no coward, Bellamy Blake," I said sternly to him. The corners of his mouth started to turn upwards into a smirk, but he forced them back down.