He's Just a Skater Boy (boyxboyxboy)

Chapter 144: The Seal of Fate

The view was different in that position, not only was I watching from my own eyes, but also from the corner of the tent, the chill trapped in the thin fabric walls going by unnoticed by the three of us. Tension sticking to every surface.

If it didn't begin to make me feel odd, in that way, I would have had the ability to feel some kind of shame, but my head felt clouded, I wasn't concentrating properly, too focussed on where I was and where they were, the words passing between them partly going over my head.

I looked down at the floor after a moment, not moving from the position, still kneeling like it was normal, like it made sense.

I took a breath and looked up, trying not to come apart at the edges. "And?" I directed my words at Atlas. "I don't have a death wish, I'm not mental... So what if I don't... it makes sense..."

He narrowed his eyes and crouched, leaning in over me. "So what, you're gonna just push us away until you graduate and piss off or something? How about fucking telling us instead of talking to- Who the fuck is Emily even? Since when do you know her?"

"I don't... That was the first time I met her..." I mumbled.

"And you're telling her your life story but not us?" He tapped his chest hard, shoved my chest lightly and glared at me. "So what, I don't get an explanation when you're being all defensive and running off and shit?" He gritted his teeth. 

"I was-"

"And what, I don't even get to kiss you now?"

My face burned. "You- I never said-"

"It's not like I would have fucking jumped on you! What do you think we're gonna do?" He made an unhappy expression. "Do you really think I'm that much of a dick?"

"No!" I shot back, trying to glare at him, but it felt so odd I wasn't sure what expression I was giving off.  "I can't do that... ever..." I finally managed the reply. "I saw how it works... you wouldn't think about it if you saw it..."

Jacob watched me, eyes cool and unbothered. "We can watch it together. Get used to it, figure out what we want."

My brows furrowed. "I don't..."

"Really...?" Atlas replied, surprised. "That sounds weird."

"You haven't done that before?" Jacob raised an eyebrow.

"Not with you." He snorted . "I have to try to imagine it... like you'd be sitting still and stone faced critiquing their hygiene or something."

"You don't know me that well." Jacob replied coolly.

"Don't start that shit again." He sneered at Jacob, pointing a finger at him.

He raised an eyebrow at him.

I didn't even dare to imagine that, the anxiety at the thought of it was enough to terrify me. "I can't do that..." 

In a second Atlas switched sides. "Can't do that why? It's just a video! What makes you that scared of us?"

"I'm not!" 

"If you weren't afraid of us then why try to create distance at every opportunity." Jacob asked, his voice suspiciously calm.

"I didn't-..." I couldn't get the words out, there was a limit to how much of a beating my pride could take. 

I wasn't afraid of them, not really, I was afraid of me, that in the moment, that heated moment where the prickle of my skin and visual of the both of them moving over me let me slip into the same dangerous flow as the both of them. What if I said yes? What if I begged for it?