Chapter 17. || Childhood

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Days passed and the doctor hadn't spoken of your childhood ever since. But yet, you thought about it more often, even though you had promised yourself not to. You couldn't stop yourself from doing it, and you had to admit... Being all alone and locked inside a room for so long brought back a lot of memories and made you realise lots of things too. The more you thought about the memories and things that had happened, the more your hatred towards your father grew. It became so much till the point you couldn't wait to escape anymore, only to hunt your father down and torture him the way he tortured you throughout most years of your life. 

You didn't deserve the things that happened to you.

And so did your mother. If there were anyone in this world who didn't deserve it, it would be her. You were going to murder your father, but not only because he has hurt you... But for her, in her name, because the things he did to your mother were things no one would want to experience. 

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[1992 September 1st ]

"What the fuck you mean you had to stay longer at work!? Don't fucking lie to me, woman! I know you were too busy fucking that little best friend of yours!" Your father screamed, you could hear the rage and aggression in his voice. "Please stop, can we just not do this right now? I'm almost nine months pregnant, the baby is almost coming and you're doing this!?" Your mother cried out. They had been fighting for quite a while now and by the things your mother said and by the way she spoke to him, you could hear that she was desperately hoping your father would just listen to her pleas.

 "I would never do that to you, but you know how important my work is!" She added as you heard her voice break. "Lies... Fucking lies!" Your father yelled as you suddenly heard a loud noise. You flinched and your hands flew to your mouth to cover your small sobs. You listened with widened and horrified eyes, he hit her again, you knew he did.

You sniffled, not hearing anything come from the living room anymore. You wiped your teary eyes and stood up from the stairs, silently walking towards the living room. As you stopped in the doorway your eyes filled with shock, seeing your mother on the floor, hand bleeding and broken glass lying all over the place. "Mommy?" You said with fear in your soft voice. "[Y-Y/N]?" Your mother worriedly looked at you while she slowly stood up, hiding her hand as she approached your smaller figure. "Oh, honey..." She whispered, crouching down and placing a hand on your cheek while you leaned into her warm hand. "Mommy, did Daddy hurt you?" You asked with worry, a tear rolling down your cheek. "I was just a little dizzy and fell darling, it's okay. Daddy wouldn't hurt me." She told you in a reassuring manner, looking at you with the softest smile. "But Mommy, there's blood!" You said, terrified of her bloodied hand, which she was trying to hide behind her.

You looked at your mother, seeing the sadness and fear in her eyes, yet she still continued to fake a smile at you, telling you it was okay. But you knew it wasn't, you always knew your father hit her... And not only her, whenever he got the chance, he hit you.

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 You remembered how your mother stood up for you, letting herself be hit, kicked and hurt all for you, all so you wouldn't get hurt in any way because she knew you didn't deserve it... But neither did she.

But then one day, September 13th, your father absolutely snapped, he had hurt your mother so badly that he had broken her arm and left several bruises and injuries on her body. He had dragged her around the house, throwing her around asif she was some ragdoll to him. She hit her head, fell unconscious and didn't wake up for a while, she went into a coma. She spent 2 weeks in the hospital and woke up again on September 27 and two days later she gave birth... But she didn't survive it, her body was too weak and she died minutes after her son was born. But so did her son, your brother. Something was wrong with him, causing him to struggle with breathing, due to this, he died an hour later. You weren't even able to be there, you didn't even get to say goodbye.

You remember how hard you had cried when you heard the news. You couldn't do anything for days, you stayed in your room for months, refusing to go to school.. Not like your father gave a shit, he just started getting more and more drunk on the couch. Every night you were crying at the thought of your mother's death, you couldn't believe that she was gone. And at the same time, your father started to become more abusive towards you, forcing you to do things, manipulating and gaslighting you. He didn't even give you time to grieve, you had to keep all of your feelings bottled up and learn to live with it.

He was the real reason you turned out like this. All your life, you only felt fear, sadness and anger. But now, you're older, know better, and promised yourself that you'd never let anyone treat you like this. Never again

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