Devil's eyes [Michael Myers x Reader]

chapter 14. || michaels realisations

Back at Smiths Grove...

Michael had been acting a little strange these past few days.. He had been acting off. He wasn't how he usually was and the things he did were very unlike him. There was obviously something wrong with him.

Doctor Loomis was the first to notice that... After a while, it started to worry him. He had questioned Michael about it a few times, yet Michael had no intention of telling the doctor about his feelings, but.. Not like he ever did anyways...
Loomis knew Michael never spoke and that he wasn't a fan of showing his emotions or feelings... And that wasn't the thing Loomis was worried about.

It was Michael's change in behaviour ever since [Y/N] had left. The doctor obviously wanted to know what exactly had caused him to act so odd all of a sudden, it wasn't what Loomis was used to. Of course, Michael was silent, he didn't have any interactions with anyone and he never spoke, those things had been normalized by Loomis... But Michael was also always calm, patient and silent.. But now Michael was often angry, impatient and he was often letting out silent yet angry and even slightly threatening huffs or growls whenever anyone did something that Michael didn't like.. And now whenever Michael looked at the doctor.. He had this certain stare that sent shivers down the doctor's spine. It was... As if Loomis was staring into the devil's eyes. As if there was nothing but darkness underneath those eyes of his. There was definitely something very wrong with Michael.

. .

But.. Michael realised it too, he realised how his behaviour had changed. 

But that wasn't the only thing that was wrong with him. Michael started to feel sad more often.. Or well, not quite sad but he felt more like he didn't want to do anything at all anymore, he felt empty. He only wanted to stay in bed and stare at the ceiling and do nothing other than that. He didn't even make masks any more, he didn't even know how to properly make them anymore, his mind seemed to drift off to one thing every single time...

And besides that empty and sad feeling, he started to feel himself get angry over small things and lose his patience very quickly. He knew it wasn't like him, he knew he never acted like this, he could always keep it in perfectly and now, every emotion of anger was almost impossible for him to hide... He didn't know why, he didn't know how. He didn't have a reason to act like this... So why, why was he acting this way? What was wrong with him? What happened? How could he suddenly just lose control over his emotions like that?

And all these thoughts and concerns had kept Michael awake multiple nights.

It scared him deep down. 

The way he lost control over his feelings scared him.. But there was one thing that scared him the most... It was another emotion, a feeling separated from all those other things he felt. It was this certain feeling he felt ever since... Ever since she had appeared in his life again. Ever since he had reunited with her after spending so many years alone in this sanitarium. And he only got this feeling when he was with her, just her.

And again, he didn't know what that feeling was. He didn't know why he felt like that but... He felt happy with her, it was like he felt a little joy when she was with him, just like in their childhood. His eyes always lit up whenever he saw her. He felt like he could trust her, he felt like he could be himself with her... And that caused him to get this certain feeling that he just couldn't explain..

But then, ever since she had left, ever since she had been transported to another sanitarium, he still had this feeling deep inside him, this very strong feeling that he felt when he was with her. But it had changed into something else.. Now there was no happiness, there was no joy and there was no one who could light up his eyes. This feeling he felt when he was with her.. It wasn't there anymore. And so was she. She was gone.

And maybe that was the reason for the change in his behaviour. Maybe the cause of all of this anger and sadness he was feeling was because she was gone. Without her, he felt lonely, angry and empty. It was like he craved her. He craved to be with her. But again, he didn't know why...

Why would she be the cause? Why would he feel like this just because of her? She's his friend. She's just a friend. 

How could she have such a big impact on his emotions like that? How did she manage to make him feel all of these things, how did she manage to make him feel this new feeling he only felt around her? This feeling he had never ever felt in his life until she reunited with him... She was just his friend. Right?

. . . 

Michael was eager to find all the answers to his questions, yet he didn't know how. Because he didn't even know what to do... He didn't even know what his own feelings meant.

But there was one answer, there was one explanation he could use for this... For this sudden feeling he got when she reunited with him, for all these emotions he felt when he was with her and for his change in behaviour when she left... For why she had such an impact on him and his emotions...

Was he... In love with her?

No, no that wasn't it. It couldn't be that. He could not fall in love, he did not, he would never.
 
He could not have fallen in love with her, she was his friend, she was his only childhood friend. He couldn't accept that he had those feelings for her, he couldn't believe it. Yet whenever he thought of her this certain feeling came back and now when he was without her the feeling seemed to haunt him... 

When she used to do the most random things ever, he just adored every single thing she did, even if it was lashing out at another guard or if she was just looking away and minding her business, he adored every single thing about her. and again and again and again, that feeling kept on coming back and it kept on increasing too. He just never minded much about it, he ignored it.

But now when he's alone, when shes gone and this feeling he felt had been morphed from something that gave him happiness into something that just made him feel sad and empty, he started to realise that maybe, just maybe he didn't love her like just a friend would do, maybe deep deep down in his cold heart...

But still.. He couldn't accept it. He couldn't be vulnerable, he couldn't show weakness for her. Even if he knew he did already... He had to get himself back together.. Even if he wasn't sure how.