Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 11, Part 1)

109 Too Pitiful

Qiu Ling furrowed his brows tightly. He couldn't say that he was too surprised that Jinde took Jin Ling's death badly but this was indeed worrisome. He turned to look at the shell himself and felt complicated.

The child forming inside there was his sibling in some sense. While they weren't blood-related, he would consider this person family after they were born. Now, who knew if that would even happen?

He clenched his hands and shook his head. "We have to make him do it. Even if he doesn't feel like it right now, there is just no other way. If he already takes Jin Ling's death like this, then what do you think would happen if this child dies as well?"

Leng Jin Yu nodded. "I know. I just ... I don't know how." He looked at the door to their room, completely at a loss. He felt like he was a better lover in this life compared to his last. And yet, nothing had prepared him for such a day. He felt as if every word and every gesture would be wrong.

Xiang Yu looked from one person to the other, his brows tightly furrowing. "I'm sorry."

The two turned to look at him, not sure what he meant. Qiu Ling finally crouched down next to him and reached out, rubbing his head. "What for? It's not like you killed him."

Xiang Yu pursed his lips as if he wasn't so sure he hadn't. "If I hadn't told him about Jinde and the child, he wouldn't have come, right? I mean, he tricked me into doing so but still. I should have kept quiet."

Qiu Ling watched him and finally smiled wryly. "You know, when I think about it, I'm in the same boat: If not for finding Jinde in the first place, would Jin Ling have known and searched for him? So if not for me, he wouldn't have approached you and tricked you into telling you. Maybe it's my fault."

Xiang Yu immediately shook his head, feeling that this couldn't be the case.

Qiu Ling patted his head again. "Seems like neither of us is in the wrong then." Yes, he had doubted it when he thought about it before but, actually, it wasn't his fault. He had made mistakes, grave ones even, but this wasn't his fault for once. And neither was it Xiang Yu's.

"Sometimes, I guess this is just how life plays out. No matter what you do, one day, it'll go wrong. In his case, it went wrong too much and there is no way back. If you think about it, then maybe the seed of this was already sown ages ago when the three races still weren't like this."

He glanced up at the sky, thinking back to his meeting with Tian. He wasn't like Xin Lan who would curse Tian in his head but he was well aware that it was this person who had cursed all of them for the sins their ancestors committed.

Were they at fault for those? Surely not. And yet, even millennia after it had happened, Tian would not retract that curse and allow all of them to suffer continuously. Maybe in his mind, it was indeed just to have them accompany him in his misery. But then, did they really have to blame themselves for these things that ultimately sprang to life because of the curse?

Maybe sometimes, it just came down to this one truth: the three immortal races might be unable to coexist peacefully. The souls of the dragons and the trials of the gods, were they not designed to break one's heart? And the demons, were they not especially pitiful with how the most basic of emotions had been taken from them, making them incompatible with everyone else?

Qiu Ling turned to look at the palace as well, feeling complicated. Yes, he had never liked Jin Ling. He hated him for what he stood for, he hated him for the connection to Jian Heng and his mother, and for all the verbal abuse he had suffered at his hand throughout the years. But in the end, maybe Jin Ling was actually more pitiful than him.

They had both been born half-bloods and they had both lost their parents in the process whether that was the one everyone could happily leave behind or the one that genuinely cared about them.

At the end of the day though, he had managed to regain what he lost: There were Leng Jin Yu and Jinde at his side and they could for all intents and purposes be called a family even if their blood was not the same. He was also able to fall in love with Jing He, to woo him, and finally marry him one day in the future.

Compared to that, what had Jin Ling had? A useless throne in the demon realm that he didn't care about save for its purpose to give Jinde peace of mind. He couldn't love this person that should be his family, not in the true sense. All he could do was cling to him in the way he saw others cling to a partner in the hope of not losing him like any demon was bound to lose the people they might deem 'close' at a certain point. And yet, it was precisely this action that finally separated them forever.

Qiu Ling sighed and got up, straightening up his sleeves. "I'll see if he reacts to me. If not ... let's wait a few days. If the spiritual energy is really about to run out ..." He rubbed his forehead and gave Leng Jin Yu a glance, not sure how he'd react. "Let's call Xin Lan."

Leng Jin Yu stared at him in a daze but finally nodded. "You're right. That's what we should do." In any case, he wasn't so conceited to believe that there was no point where this person understood Jinde better than him. And as long as it was able to help Jinde, he was willing to do anything.

Qiu Ling nodded and then walked back into the room to give it a try himself.