I can't stop me - Richarlison de Andrade x reader

VIII

"Yes, date. What about it?"
Neymar let us loose eye contact and turned to Richarlison.
I was looking at Richarlison trying to figure out what to say but he just came besides me and avoided looking in my eyes at all costs.

"No, it's not a date, it never was, Neymar. I never said it was."
I tried my best to fix whatever awkward situation all three of us were in right now.

Neymar just looked at me confused and walked a couple steps to the right to get his phone out of his bag. I knew what he was about to do and I knew it would get me in even deeper shit with Richarlison.
I looked up at him while Neymar was searching through his phone and finally, our sight was on each other.

"Neymar, don't,"
I whispered to him as soon as he came back over to us and I was shaking lightly, I really fucked up this time.

"What is it that you have to hide from me? Show me, Neymar."
His tone was mad and I knew he was really pissed at me.

My hands were literally shaking even more and for a second it felt like I was frozen, I was too scared or rather upset to say anything or look at Richarlison. I just looked around the field and to the ground while seeing Neymar hand his phone to Richarlison. I catched a glimpse of what he was showing to him and I was right, he had our chats out on his phone.

Richarlison just read over what both of us had said.

"Querida? Are you serious?"
He looked down at me and by now I was the one who was trying to avoid eye contact, but when I looked up at him he wasn't looking at me. He asked the question to Neymar.

"She didn't say I couldn't. She didn't even say this wasn't going to be a date, she just went along with it. Don't be mad at me now."

"You are so full of shit, I didn't want to upset you. I din't know how to say it without being rude and even that night when you called me you just said we were going to hang out!"
I had so much more to say but I stopped myself. I realized I keep dragging myself into an even deeper hole. I never told Richarlison that Neymar called me that night.

"What call? When was this?"
Now Richarlisons eyes were back on mine and I looked down again.

"Last night, like 12 am."
Neymar looked at me too.

"I honestly didn't think you were like this. You said you were calling Lucas. I guess that's why you didn't want to stay out there with me and had to go somewhere else to talk. I really tried, you know?"

Hearing that last sentence really broke my heart. I know he did. That was the best night of my life and I would give anything to have that with him again. Not Neymar, but Richarlison.
I felt tears collect in my eyes and for a moment we were all standing in an uncomfortable silence. That moment took hours for me, seconds for them.

I just wanted Richarlison to forgive me. I didn't want to ruin what we had, I have never loved spending time with someone more and I'm not ready to let go of him. Especially if our parting is my fault. Neymar went a couple steps over to a bench to pick up his bag again and just walked away to the exit. I didn't really care, I know that Neymar is a good friend of mine but the only thing I could think about it is how I can get Richarlison to forgive me.
Richarlisons eyes followed Neymar as he walked away and I felt more guilty than ever. I looked up at him, his jaw was clenched, eyes had an angry look in them and his fists were also clenched tight. I hated every second we spent in this silence. I wanted to break it, I had so much to say. I just had no idea where to start.