Jegulus: Oneshots <3

Safe </3

*WARNING. SAD.*

It was a dark, damp night. The wind whistled through the trees and the moon shine brightly, illuminating the school grounds.

James stood outside, cigarette between his fingers. He'd said he'd quit, more than once now. He just needed to get it out of his system.

James let the smoke drift from his lips up towards the starry sky. It was late, just late enough that he was sure he wouldn't get caught smoking by anyone.

He let out a quiet sigh of relief as some of the tension dissipated from his muscles. After a couple of minutes, James heard the door open.

"James?" Regulus asked quietly.

James jumped, dropping his cigarette and cursing under his breath at the interruption. "What?"

Regulus put his hands up in mock surrender, raising an eyebrow at James' tone. "What is going on with you?"

James resisted the urge to roll his eyes, looking away and sticking his hand in his pocket to retrieve another cigarette.

Regulus watched as James' slender fingers twirled the cigarette gracefully before lighting it with his wand, setting it back between his lips. 

"You're smoking again?" Regulus asked quietly, leaning against the wall next to James. James shifted a bit, putting more space between him.

"Doesn't matter to you. It's not your business," James retorted, his voice cold.

"It's my business if you started again because of me..." Regulus let his voice trail off a bit and he looked away from James, turning to stare at the stars.

"Don't give yourself too much credit Reg. You don't have nearly as much of an effect on me as you think you do."

Regulus could see right through James' snarky tone and stiff posture. He was hurting and he was lashing out. Regulus would be the punching bag for a little bit if it meant James smiling at him in the hallways again.

The truth was, James had been acting weird for a couple of weeks and it was hard not to notice. Regulus could smell the cigarette smoke on him when he walked by, and he always looked tired or bored. He was constantly snapping at his friends and then throwing himself into isolation because he felt bad for losing his temper.

"James, I understand you're hurting but I did what I had to do," Regulus stated calmly, sliding his cold hands into the pockets of his trousers. "We couldn't have stayed together. It wasn't safe."

James didn't respond. He continued to stare off into the distance, seemingly ignoring Regulus. But the tension in James' shoulders gave him away.

"James, would you just talk to me?" Regulus asked desperately. He knew James was mad but he missed his friend.

"Go back to bed, Reg."

Regulus sighed frustratedly, turning towards the door back into the castle. 'Fine,' he thought to himself, 'if this is how James wants to play it.'

"I wasn't good for you. If you can't admit that, fine."

James coughed loudly, hitting his chest with one fist and balancing his smoke in the other. "Are you fucking kidding me Reg?"

'Ah. There we go,' Regulus thought, bracing himself. James' face grew a shade darker under the moonlight and his fist was balled at his side.

"It's the truth, James. I wasn't good for you and my family wasn't good for you-"

"Regulus," James said warningly, pinching his cigarette a little too tight between his fingers now.

"I had to break up with you James," Regulus stated, his voice firm.

James dropped his cigarette, advancing on Regulus now. "Had to? No, you wanted to Reggie, and you used your insane family as an excuse!"

"I didn't have a choice, James! They would have killed me. They would have killed you," Regulus shouted back, stepping towards James' towering figure assertively. James didn't back down, he didn't even flinch.

"We could have tried, Reg!" James shouted, but his voice broke halfway through the sentence. "Maybe you just didn't love me as much as I loved you."

Even though James' voice was quiet, Regulus felt like the entire world stopped. There was nothing, no noise, no surrounding atmosphere. There were just James, pink cheeks and glazed eyes, practically shaking.

"You...you think I don't love you?" Regulus asked quietly.

James was looking at the ground, pretending to be more interested in his slippers than the conversation that was breaking his heart into a thousand pieces.

"James, of course, I love you. Bloody fool," Regulus muttered the last part to himself, but James still caught it, letting a small smile float across his lips.

"Then...why'd you leave Regulus? And don't give me that bullshit about keeping me safe."

Regulus let out another frustrated sigh. "James. I had to-"

"Can't you see what you're doing to me?!" James snapped suddenly, throwing his arms out. "I'm a fucking wreck and it's because you left that night! I needed you, Reg!"

"Did it ever occur to you that you're hurting me too!?"

For the first time all night, James went silent. Regulus wiped a tear off his cheek quickly, sniffling a bit. "James. You weren't just my boyfriend, you were my best friend. The love of my life. I miss you..."

James still didn't say anything, but Regulus noticed the shine of tears spilling down his cheeks.

"You don't even smile at me in the halls anymore! I mean...I at least want to be your friend James. Please?"

James let out a broken sob now, turning away from Regulus quickly. "I can't," he whispered, "I can't just be friends with you. It hurts to remember all that we had is gone Reg, and I think about it every time I look into your eyes."

Regulus felt the tears start flowing down his cheeks, not even bothering to wipe them away anymore.

"I'm so sorry James," he whispered to James back. He watched as James' body shook with uncontrollable,  muffled sobs and his heart broke all over again. Just like it did that night. The night he left James on the floor of the dorm room while he pleaded with Regulus, promising to do better and fix whatever he did wrong.

Regulus only wanted to keep James safe from his family. And if it meant tearing his own heart out and stomping on it to save James', he'd do it a thousand times again.

"I'm sorry too, Reg," James whispered into the darkness, not knowing whether or not Regulus was still there. Regulus retreated into the building after hearing James' soft apology and he disappeared into his dorm, flopping down on the bed and breaking down.

He just had to keep reminding himself. It was to keep James safe. That's all that mattered.

(1121 Words....I'm so sorry. Also I'm pretty sure the ending could be better but hey...I felt sad. I promise to write some fluffy stuff to make up for it tho. For y'alls sake, and mine. -T)