2025 ; jungwon

CHAPTER 4

The world stopped.

Minjoo's world stopped the moment her eyes met those familiar midnight orbs. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't move.

She's frozen on her spot. Her eyes couldn't believe what she's seeing. So many questions running through her head but she couldn't bring herself to open her mouth to ask them. Heck, she couldn't even move her gaze away from the man!

Just a few minutes ago, she was having an episode because of the traumatizing past where he contributes a big part of it. And now, she's standing in front of him.

Face to face.

Minjoo swallowed the big lump in her throat, her heart started beating rapidly inside her chest. And she knew what's coming again. She's aware of what's happening with her body but she couldn't bring herself to stop looking at him, to not stare with those familiar midnight orbs that she thought she wouldn't see in this lifetime...

I can't breathe.

"Auntie! " Minjoo's mind went blank for a second as her attention was forced to focus on Haechi who's now hugging her arms.

She looked a her.

"Uncle pretty is talking to auntie, why auntie is not paying attention? " the kid added, and that snapped something to Minjoo as she looked at the man before her.

"I-i'm sorry what is i-it again? "

The man smiled. And right there, Minjoo wanted to breakdown. She wanted to scream, to cry, to throw everything her eyes will land on. She's hurting, seeing him pains her but at the same time.... It calms her.

His smile, she missed it. The dimple that goes visible whenever his lips tugged upward, she missed it.

She misses him. She misses everything in him. So much.

"It's alright, I was just confirming if you're her guardian but it's obvious already. "

His voice.... He has the same voice just like before.

Minjoo didn't know why she's hurting now. Maybe it's because of the past starting to crawl at her again or the fact that she misses him so much that it hurts not to touch him.

That it hurts that he doesn't know her.

His eyes... He doesn't look at me the way he does before.

Minjoo forced a smile, looking down while secretly wiping the forming tears in her eyes.

"Y-yeah, I am. Thank you for, " Minjoo sighed, struggling to talk in casual way. "Thank you for finding Haechi. "

"Please don't mention it. " the man glanced at the smiling kid then back to Minjoo. He smiled. "I guess I need to go then? "

No, please don't go.

Don't leave me...

Despite those words loud in Minjoo's head, she did the opposite as she nodded. And once again, her heart began aching when the man nodded and turned his back against them, leaving.

She's hoping. Minjoo is hoping the man would turn around and face them once again and tell her, assure her that it's him, the Jungwon she knew from before.

The Jungwon she loved from the year 1865.

She hoped because he didn't.

He didn't turn around and walk back to them. He didn't tell her nor assure her that he is him, the man she loves.

He didn't.

And it hurts because she was hoping that at least the universe let him know about the things happened in their past lives. It hurts because she's the only one remembering, the one who's hurting.

I made him wait... I failed to save him.... I was the reason why he died...

So maybe this is my punishment. Because I let someone special, someone that is a gem in this world, die with the hands of my parents...

It's my fault after all, I deserve to feel this. I deserve to feel more than this.

Nights after that day, Minjoo lost it again. She's back to zero again, with no chance of moving forward. With nothing but the past clouding her mind.

The sole reason she chose to spend those two months in the province was to move forward, but why is she on the ground again? Why is she on the depths of the sea again, drowning?

She thought she's at least close on the finish line. She thought this vacation is her last resort on moving on but why seeing him for a brief moment wrecked her again?

Fate is cruel... So is love. And that's the main reason why she's hurting.

I want him. I need him.

Jungwon is like an oxygen Minjoo needed under the deep ocean. That's why it's not a surprise when a part of the history, the real history, repeated.

Just like what Jiyeon did before, Minjoo always go in the town, especially in that aquarium in hopes to see the man again.

She spent her days in the town, finding the man, praying to the universe to see him. Once again.

Just once and I'm fine with it.

But it seems like luck wasn't on her side this time as she didn't see the man. She didn't see a glimpse of him no matter how hard she prayed and how hard she tried in finding him in the city...

She failed.

And Minjoo didn't know what to do with that. Her mind starting to believe that maybe she was just hallucinating that time.

That maybe she just misses him so so much that she started seeing him. And maybe that's the reason why it hurts. Why it hurts so much.

Yang Jungwon, I didn't thought loving you would be this hard. I never thought loving you would be this painful....

But it's alright. Because you are worth it.

And I will choose to love you again no matter what. I will endure everything if it's you. Because you are my everything. Before, now and in the future.

You'll always be my everything in every lifetime...