When dark illuminate | ✎

|15| Web of future, present & (never) forgotten past

❝ It must be my destiny to see but unable to do anything. ❞

. . .

The shadows are crawling behind my back but can I see behind my back? Not really. Stupid idea, I know. The dawn of new things is over now, the sun is roaming to see the other half; leaving this side to dive in the depth of darkness. I'm walking ahead, clicking my dark laced boots churned in the pavements with my footsteps.

I don't know where I am right now, neither do I care. The zephyr is gushing over my ears now & chilling cold is availing. An odd shiver runs down around my spine. My treading is suddenly halted as my feet forget to move forward. I stopped & looked around. It looks familiar.

But where? Buildings are scattered over here. I know, a lame choice of words. It's like a dampy area even though it's the cold season; I guess maybe the fogs are gathering here in the ground too. The pitch black road is oddly similar, and the quiet neighbourhood. Every home has an outline, kinda rustic vibe. Like the forties or fifties has been rehabbed or torn down here.

As for regular-passerby, maybe it seems normal to see but if you stop right there; and take a quick glance- you can see how much it's actually far from normal yet different. Most fabrics are moulded in black & grey shade, painting the buildings in a chimerical way. I saunter my ways furthermore, and notice a low sort of white painted block-building with a badly defined gravel area in the front. I can't help but get curious to see what's there.

I look closely now, a faint noise of jazz music can be heard as I'm moving forward to the door now. Clicking the doorknob, I enter. A weird mob is busy in their own world. Small tools are there. A waitress is taking notes & glasses from here & there, so conjecture is: it's a bar with a cosy vibe.

I start to walk around the corner, bottles of booze lined up in the bar, as much cinematic universe- strobe lights & colourful lights are illuminating the room. Looks perfect for my taste, since the temperature of the room is getting high with the hype of people here, I decided to remove my coat & strolled over to the bar corner where a bartender is probably busy with making drinks.

I sit on the near stool, hearing the cluttering sounds - the bartender looks up to see. A surprise glance is hardly noticed.

"Woah! You scared me," this unknown bartender with ginger hair remarks.

I just shrugged my shoulders. "Amenda, you really should change the habits of snapping out like that out of nowhere. Wait a minute," he said while wiping his hands on the towel.

So, he knows me but- I can't seem to remember him. Neither do I know why I am here in the first place. I start to click on the front tool with my nails. There's no point of telling him that I don't remember him from my past, he will brush it off just like anyone.

"So, what's up? The usual drink for you?" He asks me with a little smile.

"Yeah, whatever works for you," I replied.

"Ha-ha! Don't tempt me then. I mean who knows what I might spike there," he winks at me.

"You must know then you shouldn't mess up with hot-blooded," I retorted back.

He just laughed and I raised an eyebrow -for that intake, he just said he's coming back with my drink.

I observe the whole scenery now while fumbling with my hands. There's a stage in the centre, a lady having a singing section.
A decent voice, anyone can be lost with the voice. Although people seem to care a bit; they're busy while drowning in pools of alcohol. Some are grooving with the music in the offside.

And I'm having my own mental calculation. You must be confused by til' now. But what should I tell you, when I can hardly comprehend my own situation. I don't know who I am. Nor do I remember how I came here. I was just walking, maybe catching some fresh air. People around me say I'm hallucinating or having pranks with them. A rare possibility. I don't even know who's telling the truth or lies.

If the bartender was telling the truth, am I a regular customer here? Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I got an electrified motion. A body is lying in front of me, blood is oozing out. A gothic picture & someone is there with a knife on their hand with a shocking face. I close my eyes in horror & hearing the noise, I open it again.

"Amy, what's up?" The girl is in front of me & alive. I take a glance over her frame. I'm having the same dreams again. She's gonna die soon. I have tried to tell her many times, but she never believed me. I'm-

"Okay, scratch that. You shouldn't be such a baby. So what? You didn't get a promotion this time, there are plenty more chances to grab it, right? I knew, you would be here," she says while clinging her arms to mine. I just give her a nonchalant look.

"Oh! Come on. What's wrong with you? You're behaving weird nowadays. That incident must have put a huge toll on you. Anyways, where's Percy?" She asks frantically looking over bar stools.

"I'm here ladies, with our special drinks of tonight," the ginger haired guy chimed in with two glasses of tornado drinks. The girl, a brunette who claims to be my friend -goes up to him.

So, the ginger guy is actually Percy- I thought. After a reconciliation, we sat on the stools with our drink. I'm reminiscing over the course of events. I can't seem to remember what happened to me, nor why I am having a foreshadowing vision.

"Good ol' times! It's been a long time, we've been together like this. Right! After the tolling retriever, it's been like a morbid podcast is churning again & again," this brunette is slurring now & shaking her head while laughing.

"I definitely agree, Shennon. Life has been cryptic. Glad we found our way again," Percy raises a toast & we join him.

I know Shennon in a few years -will meet up with a guy who's been her ever since. They will have a great future, until the shadows of the past knock on the door. His name is Wesley. I know, he isn't bad but he's not the one for him.

Then one fine morning, I will get a call & I will be informed about Shennon's death. I've tried to tell her this so many times. But I don't know why I am doing this, when I didn't know what my relationship with her was. I see her lovely face once again.

I left my drink on the table. I want to forget everything tonight even though everything is forgotten momentarily for me but I know something is gonna happen soon.

Lights flickering with the flow of wind. People are grooving, some are tipsy, some are lying on the floor. I start to throw my hands here & there, and start to dance.

People say the past should be always kept in the dark, live the present while the unknown future can knock you down at any time but I don't know what to do with this web of entangling. For now, I'm dancing with my heart & soul till the darkness grabs me.

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Dum-dum! It's the end, now I might just deduce, you've lots of questions. But I ain't gonna clear the air here. Possibly because I am leaving it up to your imagination/interpretation what just happened/might can happen. So, do share with me your thoughts. -(?)