Dream || Neteyam

Seven

So I know its been like two days since Lo'ak found Payakan, but they are finally going to have that cute little chat circle thing about him haha

That night I dream of him. 

What do I dream of?  I remember him asking me. 

Him. 

It was a nice dream, I can admit that. 

It was the two of us, in a time long away. We sat at the same ledge we sat at yesterday, watching nature. In silence. Completely comfortable with it. Everything was calm, and I seemed at peace. 

Despite the dream being morally nice, it only puts me in a bad mood. I have not dreamt in a very long time, breaking that to dream of Neteyam Sully just seems so wrong to me. 

"Ni'awtu, why are you in a bad mood?" A voice sounds. The words do not register in my head for a moment. "Ni'awtu!" 

"Huh?" I voice, looking up to my mother. She looks at me, worried. 

Rain falls onto the top of our marui, making little patters. I love the rain. It is the best way to swim, to ride, to sit and think. 

It makes me feel like the entire world is collapsing and the water can swallow me. 

"Why are you in a mood?" She looks down to her beading. 

I pick at my nails, and sigh. "Im not sure." She looks up at me, it is a scolding look. Ronal knows I know. "I guess I know, but I cant find why it bothers me."

"Little Ni'awtu," Glancing up at her, I can tell she is upset with me for not telling her. With my mom, despite the complicated relationship, she makes sure all of her kids talk to her. It is who she is. 

"I had a dream last night." I drone on slowly. Her face becomes shocked. She knows I have not dreamt. "About one of the Sully boys."

She breathes out in anger. Like mother, like daughter. "Neteyam," I speak slowly, afraid of all of the thoughts. Afraid of what is happening. "He is a nice boy. He likes me, and I could also like him. We could be friends."

I pick up the feather for my top and move it in my hand. "But you know," Her face is now calm, and she nods in understanding. "I havent been able to really have friends since then. And now there are responsibilities." 

It feels like I am saying the same thing for the one hundredth time, even though it is something I keep to myself. I hate that feeling. 

"I know." She sets down her beading. "Nia," Her hand moves to rest on my thigh. "This dream may be a sign. Ive seen you interact with the Sully girls, youve become more yourself."

My brain begins to hurt at her words. "You want me to do what the dream says?"

"Do what you feel is right. Eywa could be handing you what you need." She pauses and looks into my eyes clearly. "I want you to lose your feeling of responsibility. Despite what you did when Toruks family got here, I know you are responsible. You have to grow to be better."

"Thank you mom." My eyes feel on the verge of tearing up, but I let it pass. "I think I am going out."

"Okay Ni'awtu." She smiles, and waves me off. 

I call my ilu, and let the rain fall on me as I jump into the water. The destination is still undetermined, but I just ride. 

I ride quickly, all over the reef, letting the water rush away my running mind. 

~

"I wish I'd been there. The ocean blessed you with a gift brother." Kiri says, crouching across from me.