Guilty Conscience

Chapter 32

I just basically met him again but these feelings... I can't be falling in love with him again. That can't be right... right?

"There's memories of this guy but he's just... blurry." Eve says before I walk out of the room, "Leaving already, Ri?"

"Just going for a walk." I say turning around and flashing a sincere smile.

Akali and Kai'sa look at me and know exactly what I'm going to do, or at least they think they know. I walk out of the room and look around before looking around, leaning against the wall and then sliding down it placing my hand over my heart, "I... these feelings... I am falling in love with him all over again."

Y/N's POV

I convinced Sejuani to just sleep with me tonight I see her again but not the way she wanted to, at least she listens to reason sometimes but I'm alone and looking around where I'm at. There's a blizzard going on so it's kind of hard to see the lay of the land.

"Can I be let out to take a piss in a toilet?" I ask and the guard laughs, "What's funny?"

"Ya got a bucket in the corner, use it, I'm pretty sure it's better than sticking your tiny dick out of the window and it freezing off." She says and I slowly turn around before seeing said bucket, "Have fun."

"Сука." I mumble before hearing the guard spin around, "I said thank you."

"Sure you did, Wanderer." She says turning back around.

I look at the bucket and sigh before unbuttoning and unzipping my jeans, "So uncivilized."

Akali's POV three hours later

The sky darkens as I drive to my relaxation spot, well my favorite one anyway.

I stop the bike and take off my helmet before I sigh, this atmosphere reminds me of the night I left the order.

Five years ago

I zip up my bag and take one last look around my room before someone lightly knocks on my door.

"Don't bother trying to change my mind, Shen, I know she sent you to try it." I say before hearing a sigh.

"Wasn't really my plan to do that, Akali, even though you were right in thinking your mother did so." He says before I hear a chair creak, "I've got to return to my duties soon so once you disappear I won't be far behind."

As soon as I turn around to face him there's nothing there but a picture of him holding me when I was younger, he's always been like a father to me with his advice and jokes.

I just barely hear the gusts of wind over the rain as it hits the roof before my door opens again, "Akali."

"Mom." I say opening my window.

"You will address me as-" She was saying before I jumped out of the window.

I land on a branch before I look up and see my mom looking down for me and then angrily slamming the window and, I assume, walking away.

Y/N's POV Sejuani's room four hours later

I fear no man or spirit but Sejuani... she knows how to strike fear into me.

"Good night, Y/N." She says before turning away from me.

"I need to get out of here... I'll think about it tomorrow." I think to myself before quietly sighing and closing my eyes.

"I'll see you later, Y/N." A younger Sejuani says giving me a quick hug.

"Yeah." I say before walking away back to my home.

The snow starts to pick up its pace as I walk to the front door of my home.

"Where've *hic* you been boy?" Dad drunkenly asks me as I walk inside, "Have you *hic* gone deaf?"

I remain silent as I walk past him before he grabs me, "I'm *hic* talking to you, *hic* boy!"

"Let him go, F/N, can't you see something's on his mind?" Mom says and my dad releases his grip before walking towards her, "Go, Y/N."

"He's been *hic* hanging around that *hic* Winter's Claw brat." Dad says before I walk back to the front door and leave.

I open my eyes and see Sejuani laying her head on my chest while her arms are wrapped around me so I just close my eyes yet again and just drift off.

"Hey, Eve, I was wondering-no that won't work." I say to my reflection as I hold the bouquet of flowers in one hand, "Eve, do you want-nope."

"Thought I suppressed this memory long ago."

My phone rings and I answer before even looking at the caller I.D , "Hey, Eve, do you have any plans tonight?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N, but I do. You know Joshua?" She asks and I stay silent, "He asked me out on a date tonight."

"O-Oh." I hesitantly say before I look at the bouquet in my shaking hands, "W-What did you say to him?"

"Of course I said yes, especially after he said he was paying for everything." She says causing my heart to sink more before I toss the bouquet in the trash, "Y/N?"

"That's good. Yeah... congrats, Eve." I say before quickly hanging up and then looking at my reflection, "Not like we had a chance anyways, would've been wasted breath for us and wasted time for her."

"Why am I seeing this all again?"

"Y/N, we're about to-what's wrong?" Rakan asks before I slowly turn around, "What happened, bro?"

"A part of me just died." I say and he starts walking towards me, "I... I didn't even get a chance to ask her what I wanted to."

"Just forget about her and move on, it's for the best." He says before giving me a hug, "We're about to go out for drinks, you want to tag along?"

"Sure, it's better than being here with my thoughts." I say after he breaks the hug and I see a fox vastaya with black hair slowly walking up behind him.