Wanting To Be His

CHAPTER 34 :"It's Helping The Pain".

"Your all set."Nikolai said putting my bags on the bed.

I'm officially moved back in.

I don't want to be here. This is the last place I wanted to be, but Nikolai advised me to move back into Ace and Victoria's house for mom's sake because she isn't okay right now and I knew he was right and I know she isn't going to go back home.. Not without father there.

I have to look after mom, I'm all she has left.

"Don't look too happy". Nikolai said sarcastically pulling me back to reality. 

I cleared my throat. "Yeah it's good to be back."

I would rather be anywhere else.

"I'm joking, I'm here for what ever you need, yeah, I'm down the hall and Aurora is right there."Nikolai pointed to Aurora's room. Great.

"Yeah I remember." I say sitting on the bed.

"Enjoy your beauty sleep while you can, when Aurora's baby comes, there will be no sleeping for atleast a year."Nikolai laughs sitting down beside me.

"She's only six months, I'll be long gone before the baby arrives."I say not wanting to think about it.

I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl What they will look like?

I close my eyes tight to rid myself of those thoughts. I won't be a good father. The baby is better off without me.

I get up, "I better unpack." I open my bag and start taking clothes out.

"Yeah I'll leave you to it. There's an open house later if you wanna go, it might be good to get out of the house for a bit and clear your head."

"I'll skip, I have things to sort out with the mafia but you should go."I say putting the rest of my clothes into one drawer.

"Yeah okay, text me if you need anything."

"Yeah okay see you later." I respond.

"Bye."Nikolai says before leaving, I chuckle when I hear him running down the stairs. He has an unhealthy obsession with parties.

I was telling the truth when I said I has work to do, I have to organise the payments for our new shipment of Intel. I don't want to do it but I have to, for the mafia and for father.

I have to follow his legacy.

A while later.....

I groan in relief as I finish the paperwork. I have been at this for hours and I'm finally finished. I need to go home tomorrow and make sure everything is up to scratch.

I sigh before getting up from my chair and making my way to the bed to get my phone.

I got a text from mom who is with Victoria and Ace.

Mom: Hey Sweetie, I hope your okay.

I texted back.

Me :I'm fine.

I threw the phone behind me and it landed with a soft thud on the bed. I layed my head in my hands and closed my eyes. I heard the front door open and Aurora saying Goodbye to someone.

I got up from the bed and went to the window. I peered out and saw that 'Josh' guy smiling like he won the bloody lottery.

My fist tightened at the thought of him smiling about Aurora. She's not mine but she is.

I watched him leave in his tiny car and I went back to the bed and sat down.

I heard Aurora coming up the stairs and I saw her go into her bedroom, leaving door slightly ajar. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to go in and confront her about Josh.

I looked towards her room for a few minutes before cursing myself. I can't be thinking about her, I shouldn't be but I can't help it.

I think about her so much it's killing me. I'm not good for her.

I lie down and stare up at the ceiling, I try to think of what would be outcome of me and Aurora being together. Us living happily ever after with our kid?

No.Why? Because there is no Happily ever after. It's bullshit. I will only ever hurt her and I can't hurt her.

I closed my eyes and sighed. What is she doing to me? Before I could think any longer I heard the sound of vomiting coming from her bedroom.

I got up quickly and ran to her room. I pushed open the door and rushed in.

"Aurora?" I said calling out for her before pushing the bathroom door open slightly. I saw her on the ground knelt in front of the toilet. She looked over to me in teary eyes,before she could say anything she vomited. I rushed over and held her hair.

After a few minutes she groaned and layed her head on her hand. I grabbed some toilet paper and took off a few sheets. I looked over and she had her eyes closed, I wiped her mouth and she opened them.

She smiled a little"Thanks."She said groggily. She winced in pain and layed a hand on her stomach.

"Are you okay?" I asked worried.

"Hmm". She nodded with her eyes tightly closed. I looked around trying to figure out what to do to help her. I got up and turned on the bath. It should help with the pain.

I went back over to her and picked her up. "It will be better when you get in."

"It won't,I've tried. I've been in pain the whole pregnancy Leo." She says with teary eyes.

Guilt washes over me. I should have been there for her. "We'll just try okay." She nods and I start gently taking off her clothes. When the bath is filled I help her in. She sits down slowly and puts her head back and closes her eyes. She has both her hands placed on her belly, I take one of them and hold it. She opens her eyes and looks towards our hands.

"Is it helping?"I ask. She looks at me and shakes her head."It's fine Leo, I promise, I'm used to it by now". She giggles in pain.

I stand up and take off my shirt. She looks up at me. "What are you doing Leo?"

"I'm getting in." I say unbuckling my belt and taking my pants off. Before she could say anything I lifted her up gently and went in behind her. I pulled her towards me gently and she layed her head on my chest.

"Why are you doing this Leo?" She whispered but loud enough for me to hear. She winced in pain.

"I don't like seeing you in pain."I explain as I take her hand and hold it. I lay my other hand on her stomach and I feel a kick from the baby. My baby.

"Did you feel it." She smiled looking up at me." Yeah" I smiled looking down at her.

She smiled. "It's helping the pain."She squeezed my hand tighter. I kissed her head.

"That's good."