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"I just can't keep doing this Hobi, i can't keep loving you secretly because it's killing me, i can't even sleep at night. I truly don't think i can do this any longer, knowing i love you with my heart and that we are together while being at church and singing to god, i'm a hypocrite." Said the guy in front of Hoseok. He was crying, but no more than Hoseok.

They were in Hoseok's house, in his living room. His boyfriend said earlier that he wanted to go to his house because he 'missed' him and wanted to talk.

But ended up being an 'i'm breaking up with you' thing.

"I just... I can't believe what you are saying right now, Doyun. Did you think about it before doing this? Is this why you have been distant since your camp reunion? Is this why?" - Hoseok said, hands shaking, eyes spilling more tears and his breathing pace getting even more difficult to handle.

"Doyun... You are really breaking up with me because you can't keep a simple lie about you liking a boy? YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS AND COUSINS KNOW, AND THEY ARE OKAY WITH IT?!" - Hoseok screamed to Doyun, but he wasn't looking at him, he looked everywhere but Hoseok's eyes.

"I really want to understand the reason why you are breaking up with me, like, haven't i done enough for you? I told you it's okay if you lie about me, about us. I know the situation with your family and shit... And- i just can't understand!!"

Hoseok got up the couch, dried his tears and looked back at Doyun, who was now looking at him.

He did look sad, like he was hurting too.

"Hoseok, i'm just breaking up with you romantically, i still want to be your friend, like we were before we had this, please, i'm so sorry" Doyun said standing up and walking up to Hoseok.

"You know what Doyun, i can't seem to hate you, but i understand you wanna break up with me for the stupidest reason i've ever heard, but i respect it, is your decision. But don't fucking talk to me ever again. I forgive you, but i don't wanna know about you anymore"

Hoseok's eyes started to water again, and he was fighting so hard the urge of getting on his knees and beg Doyun to not to leave him, that he will do better or even start going to church with him.

But no, Hoseok will change for nobody, he will remain with his beliefs and own thoughts. Even though he's hurting, he won't let his pride melt into nothing for someone who's not willing to fight for and with him.

"Please, get out of my house Doyun" Hoseok said, lifting his arm and indicating his now Ex-boyfriend the way out of his house.

Doyun opens the door and and looks back to Hoseok who's looking through the window at his right.

"I'm sorry, Hobi"

The sound of the door closing was the last thing he heard, just then, he dropped on his knees and started to drop every little tear he was containing inside him.

Hoseok has never fallen in love before, and never got heartbroken, until now.

This was the most hurtful thing that has happened to him. He felt like he was dying, like something inside his chest was ripping apart, it hurts, it hurts so much.

The only person in his life who was his best friend, his lover, his most trusted person, left him.

He had nobody, he was alone. He had no one to go to and tell how sad and heartbroken he is, no one to hug him until he stop crying, no one who will cheer him up and help him forget what just happened.

He was by himself now...

Alone and hurting.


...


The next day Hoseok got up of his bed with his sore eyes, red and puffy from all the crying. He was not hungry, he didn't want to shower, he didn't want to go to class, because he knows he's classmates will ask about it, and he is not in the mood for anything.

He still did everything, and went to his classes.

...

He arrived and seated at the back of the room.

Today he wanted to avoid everyone and everything.

The rest of the students arrived and behind them his professor and the lesson started.

...

Everything went okay, Hoseok was putting his belongings inside his bag to go out and eat his lunch away from everyone.

And sitting now behind a big ass tree was Hoseok eating his cold lunch alone, thinking about everything and nothing.

He now knows what people mean about heartbreaks.

You don't feel like doing anything, you don't want to eat... You just want to cry and sleep. Every little thing reminds you of that person, every lyric from a song makes you think of that person.

Hoseok was experiencing everything of that, music was his comfort but right now, every song on his playlist reminded him of Doyun, and it was breaking him up, more than when Doyun did.

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