FIVE -

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It's been what? Two months since he got broken up.

It's February 18th,  his birthday.

Last year, he spent it with Doyun, of course, they went to eat at a restaurant, they went to eat ice cream, made out in the bathroom, flirted with each other in the car and then, Doyun gave him his present, it was a bracelet with their initials on it.

He wore it every single day, and Doyun did too, but seeing it now, on his birthday made him feel again how lonely he is now.

He grab his journal to write something before he goes outside:

"hey, is your birthday. how do you feel?

you are crying but you don't even know why, i just want to say, i am really proud of you for surviving another year, i really hope you fulfill your goals, im rooting for you.  And i hope your most desired wish becomes true.

Love, Hoseok"

...

For his birthday his plan was eating out, go to a library and buy some book and return home, that's all.

Most of the time he wishes he had someone who's willing to go with him anywhere, read with him, paint with him, sing with him.  That's all he wants.

He wants company.

...

He's now at this cute little restaurant called rkive, it's brownish with some green decorations, full of plants and pet friendly!

It gives a calm and positive vibe, he loves it, might become his favorite place after a library.

He makes his order and looks around the restaurant. He feels a little awkward, being alone in a two-person table when the place is full of couples, friends and families.

'What a great day to feel like the loneliest human'

His order arrives and he start to eat it.

...

Libraries have been his favorite place since so young.

Even when he felt sad, mad, in love, happy or even confused he would come here and look for a book that match how he was at the moment.

That's the way he comfort himself. Doyun used to be his safe place, because even though they were different, they also were very alike.

...

He was walking down the street to visit this new library that opened a week ago.

As always, he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings, and his shoulder bumped with another one.

'Ouch' Hoseok grabbed his shoulder.

'I am really sorry, i wasn't looking at your direction' A sweet and feminine voice apologized.

Hoseok turned towards the voice.

'It's okay, i wasn't-'

Gasp. His heart beat inside his chest, one time, hard enough to take his breath away, his hands started shaking, his breathing increased to a fast pace and his eyes were unsteady.

Hoseok had to put his hand on his chest and start rubbing it against it hard enough to make it warm.

He was having a panic attack.

Triggered by Doyun, who was in front of him, holding the hands of the girl.

Doyun used to be the one who helped him with his panic and anxiety attacks, but now, he's the reason why he often gets them.

'Hoseok are you alright? Do you want me to help?' Doyun was speaking to him but Hoseok was so disoriented that it was difficult for him to understand.

So the only thing he did was turning around and run away from Doyun and hide inside the library.

Maybe the smell of books, old and new,  will help him calm down.

...

He enters to the library and goes straight to the Japanese literature section, he sits on the floor and start rubbing his chest again.

He breathe in and out of his mouth multiple times but he doesn't feel like calming down, then he breaks in tears.

He's so scared, he's worried, he's sad, he feels betrayed, he feels bad... and he doesn't know why.

'Hey, pretty, calm down please'

This voice, so pretty, so gentle.

He opens his eyes, and is the same guy from the school, the one who asked him about the principal office.

'Stay calm, follow my breathing please, i'm here with you, i'll help you, alright?' He smiles.

So pretty...

Hoseok follows the guy's breathing and he's starting to calm down, and realizing that his face is warm by the touch of him.

'Everything is okay, i'm going to bring you water, be right back'

The guy stands up and leave.

Hoseok feels so much better, still feeling sad about what he saw, but being inside the library and with the help of the unknown person he feels safe.

'I'm back' The guy gave him a glass of water and sat beside him with a gentle smile on his face.

'Wanna talk about it?'

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