selcouth-randomness book

Overthinking rant abt haircuts lol

I'm like really, REALLY thinking abt getting my hair cut this summer. There's a lot to consider, like for school, I'll have to tell the teachers to call me Rai (I'll just do Rai instead of Raiden at first bc I'll be too shy to have them use my full name ^^""" ) and then coming out to my friends. Ik they'll be ok with it, but my only worry is that my friend Z, the one who calls me feminine nicknames despite knowing I'm trans, will continue that and still call me by my deadname on a regular basis and I know I'll be too shy to correct her. Also one of my friends, A, would prolly call me by my deadname too. But my favorite friend group would totally call me Raiden, and so would my other friend A bc he's got lots of lgbt friends and I think he's said that he has a few trans friends or smth :) so he'd respect me 100% and theeeeeeeeen there's my family
:( I'm sure my dad would maybe let me get my hair cut and my mom most likely would as well if she and I sat down and had a convo about it first. My mom and her bf would prolly call me Raiden if I asked them to, my dad might not, and then I'd have to come out to the rest of my family which is gonna be SO HARD. My whole life, my family has seen me as The Example bc I'm the oldest out of all of my cousins and sisters, and a lot of the cousins look up to me. I'm scared that my family will be mad at me an stuff even though it's literally not my fault :< but I think my cousins would accept bc theyre all below the age of 8 besides connie. Personally, I think they'd like having an older boy cousin :333

So there's that Ig Raiden's Daily Overthinking haha—