Anorexia || Crimeboys - Tommyinnit angst (?) ||

Sunshine

Im bacc ppl 😎😎😽

Sorry for all the big pauses inbetween chapters but yeah uh SUFFER

Tw:
Panic attack¿?
FLUFF CHAPTER WICH MEANS GET READY TO CRY 😝😝

———— Tommy pov ————

Tommy's back slid down the slippy bathroom wall, facing the mirror. His knees bent slowly along with his movement, even that hurt.

Tears pricked his eyes, threatening to fall down, yet at this point he didn't care. He knew what was coming and he knew he couldn't stop it. What if Wilbur came in? What if Wilbur suddenly wanted to go to the bathroom and caught Tommy in a middle of a breakdown? He locked the door of course but he knew what Wilbur was capable of.

It scared him, it scared him how Wilbur was such a strong and intelligent man yet he could be so nice and caring- or manipulative. He didn't know if Wilbur liked Tommy, if he cared for him, it was all so confusing. Wilbur puts a lot of effort into taking care of Tommy and yet Tommy still takes the littlest of things as a sign that Wilbur doesn't fancy Tommy. What a selfish asshole.

The more he thought of it, the more he wanted to cry. He tried to hold it back but it was impossible, tears crawled down Tommys cheek leaving slightly sticky and wet marks after themselves.
Tommy laid his head onto his knees and held his legs up with his arms, hugging them.

Little tears turned into more and into Tommy choking on his breath. He didn't plan that, he was sure Wilbur could hear him at this point.

Shit, he had to quiet down now, otherwise Wil would be worried, or mad. What if he punches him? Honestly he doesn't know, all he knows is that Wilbur shall not hear him and come knocking on the bathroom door.

He tried to stand up, yet failed almost instantly. He was crying so much that he didn't have the physical strength to stand. He was so numb that it pained him. It took him another couple tries to successfully stand yet he probably should've stayed on the floor to be honest.

He looked at his crying self in the mirror, regretting his actions.

Wow look at how ugly you are

What an ugly crier

"Shut up.."

:)

There they are, back and better than ever. These are my so called voices, or just one voice, I don't know. They annoy me everyday, telling me that im not worth living, a burden or any other swear words and insults. I've had them before, way back before I got into college and moved away from that hell hole. You see, before I got here I was abused by my father and "mother" after my biological Mother died in a car accident when I was about twelve years old. Dad didn't take it easily and went through a lot of shit. He started drinking one month after my mom had died, two months passed and he had found another woman to replace mom, after that it only went downhill. Margaret, my step mom talked my dad into abusing me. Well she told him thing about how I'm useless and shit like that, tho it got to my father so much that he started hitting me, more each time. Not only was I abused but I had to study my ass off to get accepted in here. Toby, my best friend was here 1 year before me as he is also 1 year older than me, so he recommended this college to me. And of course I wanted to go here! They had dorms and my best friend went here! The first few days on campus were pretty good, I met Wilbur, my dorm mate as I like to call him and classes weren't that hard either! Me and Wil didn't really like each other at first as he thought I was very annoying and I thought he was too, but we got used to each other pretty quickly. Of course the voices didn't go away immediately but I definitely noticed improvement! All thanks to my friends, if it weren't for Toby's amazing distractions, Wilbur and I's playful arguments and my friends in general, I probably wouldn't be here. It was all "okay" again and I was for once enjoying life. Tho now it had gotten downhill once again, I thought I was through the tough shit.