ALL MY LUCKY STARS

Alexander

Olivia and me. Dating.

I could hardly believe it.

I knew from the first day I saw her that I wanted her to be mine. Really, I was waiting (and hoping) she'd catch up and feel the same.

She did and I felt like the happiest man on earth. Now, it felt like I could weather the storm that life brought me. I was finally strong enough. And mostly because I had her by my side, I wouldn't have to do it alone. I knew I could do anything if it meant I could do it with her until I was faced with the reality that she had to go to work and I was at home left with nothing but myself.

I had gone over to my dad's to help clean up. Amy, when she wasn't with our dad, was working like a dog, and Jack too. I decided to do their laundry, clean the house and bring over some of the leftover soup from Olivia.

My phone starts ringing from my pocket, and when I check, I see it's Amy calling. "Amy, what's up?"

"It's dad," she said, voice shaking. "He... he died."

He.

Died.

Two simple words.

Two words by themselves might not mean much. But when it's said from your baby sister's crying voice, it means everything.

He.

Died.

There's no question, no hope, or possibility of anything else. It's final, definitive.

"Where are you?" I ask.

"Same hospital." I could hear her muffled crying through the phone, her voice cracking, her world falling apart. Mine would shortly follow.

"I'll be right there," I say, panicked, feeling that burning sensation in my throat.

-: ✧ :-

Once I arrive, I'm asking nurses frantically where my dad is or anyone I can talk to, when I see Amy and Jack running towards me from down the hall. My heart feels like it's racing millions of miles in only seconds, and my hearing is starting to fog up.

"Is he still here? Can I see him?"

"Alex, they told us–"

"I don't give a fuck! I want to fucking see him! Please let me see him!" I screamed, trying to make my way through the hall before Jake and Amy stopped me. The tears start dripping down on my cheeks. "Please," I beg. "I have to tell him I'm sorry." I don't want you to feel guilty, his voice echoes through my head. Nothing was your fault.

Amy takes me in her arms, though she's almost half my size, and holds me as I cry into her wishing I could turn back time.

"Please," I begged. Please tell him I still love him. That I'm sorry. That I would raise my siblings all over again if it meant I could have one more day with him. Just one hour. One more minute.

"He's gone," Amy cried

"No, no, no, no, no. He was getting better? Right? He was fine just last night!" I murmured into her shoulder.

"He was too weak," she said. "They said it most likely wasn't painful. He went happy."

"You don't know that," I sobbed.

"I know. But I have to hope it was true," she said, a mess of tears.

And just like that, we were orphans again.

-: ✧ :-

I did what I do best when I'm met with bad news. I drink.

I'm more like my father than I thought.