Never Ever

9| A little twisted

My chest feels fluttery as I step out of my clothes. Folding them neatly, I rest them on the closest lounger and slowly turn around. Noah still faces the other direction, and in a moment of weakness, my eyes trace the broad ridges of his shoulders, following them down to the sinewy muscles that stretch across his lower back.

As though he feels me watching, he turns. I prepare for some comment designed to make me blush, but instead, his eyes trail over me, tracing the plunging neckline of my swimsuit in a way that feels physical. There, they linger – just for a moment – before flitting up.

I ignore the lash of heat in my stomach and move to the steps, curling my toes around the uneven concrete. The water appears like glass beneath me, rippling under the gentle breeze and distorting my nervous reflection. If this were the old me, I'd have dived in and made it to the other side already, but the new me is a little more cautious.

Able to sense my reluctance, Noah strips to his swimming trunks and walks around the pool to the diving board. "Watch this," he says and, confident as ever, bounces a few times before springing into the air.

His body is a graceful arc that cuts through water. I lean forward slightly, tracing his lean silhouette beneath the blue. Once upon a time, I could dive off that board with the same gracefulness, but now it would scare me to death.

He breaks the surface a few feet away, his handsome face littered with water drops. "You want me to teach you breaststroke, Blue?"

I roll my eyes, but despite his apparent lack of a filter, I feel calm with him here. As the Captain of the Calbears, Noah will be first-aid trained and able to spot the signs of drowning in a heartbeat, which means, technically, my risk of drowning is slim. 

"I have a question," I say as I grab onto the railing. "Do you have any interests besides swimming and sex?"

His eyes flash with devilment at sex. He wades toward me, tilting his head to study me properly. "Is this you trying to flirt with me?"

I ignore him and descend the steps, letting them take me inch by inch. My skin tingles under the water's weightlessness, but as much as I enjoy its coolness, I can't shake the feeling of vulnerability. The last time I tried this was precisely one year ago, and although I'd had no problems with the shallow end, the deep end was a different story.

Noah grabs my waist as I reach the last step. I try to inhale, but the breath gets stuck in the back of my throat; all I can think of is his hand. "I've got you," he says as if we're not four-feet deep. "Relax, Blue."

"Kind of hard right now."

He stops to look down at me, his eyebrow lifted. "Do I make you nervous?"

"The water makes me nervous – you just make me irritable."

The arrogant twitch of his mouth returns. I turn away, knowing it's dangerous to look directly at him and glance at his hands on my waist. "You don't need to hold me," I say. "It's when I can't touch the ground that–" my voice trails off. I don't want to think about that now; I want to enjoy the cool water.

Slowly, as if it pains him to do it, Noah lets go of my waist. I take a deep breath, surprised at how much easier it feels now that he's no longer holding me. I thought I'd be able to resist his well-practiced moves, but the heat in my stomach suggests otherwise.

"How do you feel?" he asks.

"Surprisingly okay," I say, not that it means anything. I'd felt that way the last time I attempted to swim, only for the terror to kick in. Luckily, I could still touch the floor when it happened and drag my feet to safety. "I'm going to warm up a little."