Never Ever

40| Almost midnight

For reasons I'm too preoccupied to understand, kissing Noah tastes ten times sweeter underneath the showerhead. Drawing him nearer, I drop my hands until they're wrapped around his waist, gripping him tightly. He reciprocates by cradling the back of my head with his hand, closing the remaining gap between us until there's no more space left.

"I had this whole thing planned out," he murmurs between kisses, but it comes out all mumbled and gruff between breaths, so I almost don't catch it. "Flowers, fairy lights-" he stops talking for a moment as his lips find my neck, sucking and teasing the skin. "I kept waiting and waiting for the right moment to do it, scared you'd say no. But I can't fucking wait any longer, Blue. I want you. All of you. I want to call you mine."

I feel my head jerk back. It shouldn't come as a surprise - he'd already called me his girlfriend earlier, even if it was in the heat of the moment. But this just proves that wasn't a mistake, wasn't something he'd said out of anger to Pax.

He meant it.

Strangely, I'm not freaking out about it. In fact, as I stare at him, noticing the sliver of uncertainty in his eyes, I realize I'm the calmer of the two of us. "Fine," I breathe, wanting him to kiss me again. "I'm yours."

He lifts his head, locking his gaze with mine for what seems like an eternity, a glint in his eye that ignites a fire in my chest. He closes his eyes briefly, leaning his forehead against mine, letting our noses brush. "Tell me one more time," he whispers.

Bravely, I raise my head until my mouth presses firmly against his ear. "I'm yours."

The adorable lopsided grin he follows it with makes my heart beat twice as fast. He hikes up my thigh, wrapping it around his torso before burying his face in my neck. "You're mine, Blue. And I'm yours. Always."

I let the words wash over me as I lean against the warm tiles, my breathing unsteady as I look up at him, awaiting his next move. Slowly, he guides a single hand down my stomach, inching closer to my underwear. I feel a spark of heat shoot up my stomach as he pauses to look at me, his eyes dark with longing.

Biting my lip, I try to remember that we're supposed to be holding out, but it's hard when he's standing this close. When his warm, longer fingers are pressed to my wet underwear, awaiting further instruction. In fact, I'd say it's impossible, which is why I find myself nodding slowly.

His jaw tightens as he gently slips his fingers inside my underwear and strokes me softly. His face nuzzles into the curve of my neck, one hand bracing against the tiles while the other teases me. Every stroke makes waiting for midnight torture, but I'm desperate, despite the urge to give in, to hold out. Maybe it's silly, just some stupid curse Pax made up, but Addy is right; I'd rather my first time with Noah be associated with meet day, something we both love and breathe, than a stupid Calbear tradition the night before.

"Maybe we should wait," I manage, but with his fingers working overtime, it's hard to remember what we're waiting for. "Just until the curse is over." The way things are going, if we don't stop now, we're not stopping, period.

"You're right," Noah mutters, his warm breath brushing my face, his thumb gently tracing my lip. His gaze holds mine, burning with an intensity I've never seen before. "We should stop."

My stomach tingles as I drop my gaze, taking in his wet, glistening chest. Water trickles down his body, following the lines of his abs and sliding over his jeans. He catches me looking and, with all the time in the world, withdraws his hand from my underwear to unbutton his jeans. He slides them down, leaving him in just his rock-solid Calvin Cleins.

I watch him nervously, waiting for him to either undress completely or lower my underwear and continue to stroke me. But to my disappointment, he does neither. Instead, he reaches behind me and takes the shampoo, pouring a generous amount into his hand. He catches my disappointed glance and says, "Don't give me that look, Blue. I'm trying to be good here. Turn around."