Never Ever

24| Operation hook-up

By the time I return to Addy, the Uber is waiting to take us to our dorm. I climb inside, my stomach a sea of anxiety and knots because, while Nat and Addy had been too far away to hear Pax's remark, word spreads fast. By the end of tonight, everyone will know.

I'm sure of it.

Still, behind the nerves is the quiet thrum of excitement. The Calbears' win has put everyone in a good mood, including me, and it's impossible not to be caught up in it. The whole ride back to Campus, Addy and I sing along to the radio and gossip about the Calbears like two giddy school girls, reminding me of my swim team days.

"I've never seen Jesse look so relieved," Addy says. She's religiously tapping away on her phone, no doubt messaging Jesse as we speak, and I've never seen her smile so big. "Tonight's party is going to be wild."

My smile falters when it occurs to me drunk Calbears and gossip don't mix. Any one of them could end up telling Addy what happened, and while I know, deep down, she'd always be supportive, I'm still trying to make sense of things myself.

"Oh," she says, still looking at her phone, "you're going to hate this, but Jesse says there's been a change of plan. Everyone's going to the club first and then to their place."

The buzz I'd felt earlier dies a little. Although I'm refusing to admit it out loud, part of me had been excited to spend some alone time with Noah, and now most of the evening will be spent in a dark, sweaty club.

Still, Addy seems so happy as she leads me to our dorm that I don't bother to argue, and almost an hour and ten minutes later, we're ready and heading to a club called Mirage.

It's close to campus, one of the only clubs nearby that doesn't bother with ID, so it's a breeding ground for freshmen and seniors alike. I've so far done an excellent job of avoiding Addy's invitations – being sober in a club is not my idea of fun – but at least I'll be able to dance.

As we climb out of the Uber, Addy pulls me close to her side before walking me down the street. "Tonight," she says, sounding somewhat theatrical, "I'm making it my mission to get you laid."

I wrap my arms around myself in an attempt to keep warm. Like an idiot, I'd sacrificed the jacket in place of looking good and now wish that I hadn't. San Francisco Autumns are no joke. "That's...sweet, but I'm good."

"I'm serious. You've been at Berkeley for nearly three months, and I haven't seen you talk to a single guy outside of Peter, let alone hook up with anybody. I thought you wanted an exciting college experience."

I cringe at that last part. It was the first thing I'd told her in our getting-to-know-each-other phase, but while I'm not against one-night stands, the thought of kissing someone besides Noah makes me wince. Clearly, I'm in trouble.

"Well, you told me you'd never fall for anyone," I say in a bid to change the subject. "How is Jesse, by the way?"

She scoffs. "I haven't fallen for Jesse."

"Sure."

We breeze past the bouncer, his gaze fixating a tad too long on Addy, and step into the club. It's Friday night, and the place is teeming with a sea of bodies, tightly packed, pressed against each other beneath a cluster of flashing lights.

Taking my hand, Addy leads me over to the bar and asks what I want to drink. For the tiniest moment, I contemplate ordering something alcoholic for once, but as I stare blankly at the rows of bottles, the words won't come out.

Addy turns to the bartender, her smile bright and glossy. "One water and one Vodka and Coke, please."

I feel myself choke up slightly as she hands me the water. I'd arrived at Berkeley certain I wouldn't make a single friend given how I'd spent my last year of high school, only to meet someone like Addy. I couldn't be more grateful.